LITTLE COMETS - Isles

Little Comets are (according to the BBC) the Geordie version of Vampire Weekend. But when a band is from the North East, then most typically lazy music journalists lump the band into the same bracket as The Futureheads etc.

What do they sound like? Well, this single sounds like The Futureheads. Imagine if they were floating through the North East air at 4am in the morning, dreamy and relaxed, but at the same time despairing at the state of the local Geordie neighbourhood with a bit of added bite. They lyrical content may be slightly cliched these days, but the tune (especially the chorus) has more than enough to keep us all interested. Good stuff!

Rated 4 out of 5

JOHN LEGEND & THE ROOTS - Wake Up Everyone

Legend teams up with hip-hoppers The Roots to cover a 1970s soul classic from Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes. They are Melanie Fiona singing the girlie vocals and Common giving it the occassional rap to remind us that it is the year 2010.

Everybody secretly knows that John Legend wants to be Marvin Gaye, apart from the getting shot by his father bit. He just needs a leather trench-coat in this video to complete the What's Going On look. Anyway, it is a good soul tune that is pleasant enough on the ears, but sadly lacks "something" to keep the interest level high for anyone who isn't a fan of Johnny L, The Roots, Melanie F, Common, or Harold's Blue Notes.

Rated 3 out of 5

MT. DESOLATION - Departure

Mt. Desolation is the new alt-country project from Keane's Tim Rice-Oxley and Keane's live bass player Jesse Quin. Now, we know that most of you (us included) have already written this off as being bland "bed wetting" music by two posh gits, but it is a big fun barn-dance of a single like Mumford and Sons after one-too-many real cidars covering Simon & Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson.

It surely deserves a decent review just because it doesn't feature Tom Chaplin? The b-side State Of Our Affairs - which is beautiful bed-wetting music - is quite brooding and atmospheric and might be nice to hear in the middle of winter while nice and warm in your home with a glass of sherry or two. Not as bad as you think.

Rated 3 out of 5

DUCK SAUCE - Barabra Streisand

Duck Sauce are Kanye collaborator A-Trak and producer and DJ Armand Van Helden. They have teamed-up for a bizarre tribute (?) to the actress and singer with the massive hooter!

Whilst the song itself is an funcatchy slice of disco house, it's the video that throws up the most interesting stuff. Santigold, Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig, Diplo, Pharrell, Kanye and a whole host of names all pop up for guest appearances. But the song is a bit like Dizzee Rascal's Bonkers, but without a lead vocalist like Rascal it just turns into an annoying novelty song.

Rated 3 out of 5

ELTON JON AND LEON RUSSELL - If It Wasn't Bad

If It Wasn't For Bad is the first release to be taken from The Union, the upcoming album between Elton John and Leon Russell. Now, you all know old Elton, but Leon Russell is a fellow key tinkler (and one of Elton's heroes) who has an impressive session musician CV that includes The Stones, Bob Dylan, The Bryds, Phil Spector and George Harrison. He also appears to have a phobia of shaving products.

This obviously features some lovely piano arrangements, but it also has an unexpected bluesy groove with traces of gospel. It's not a single that will cause you to throw away the gillette and buy a pair of sparkly glasses, but it's a gentle reminder that Elton and chums can still knock out some fairly decent stuff.

Rated 3 out of 5

N-DUBZ - Best Behaviour

Referred to by Wikipedia as "a British MOBO-award-winning hip hop group from London". However, referred to by most as a rubbish pop group, whom are considered as much 'hip-hop' as Dappy is considered as the 'face of stylish headwear''.

Dappy, Fazer and Tulisia all get to contribute vocally at various points, while the musical bedding combines slick beats, sweet piano arrangements and pop elements. N-Dubz are like Goldie Looking Chain, only without the irony or the brilliant tracksuits. If you must choose one chav act this autumn, then plump for Professor Green.

Rated 2 out of 5

THE WANTED - Heart Vacancy

The Wanted are the latest pretty boy band to sweep the UK. They follow up their No. 1 single with a sappy song that should cause people with learning difficulties to cause an hilarious "thick girl pile-up" in your local HMV.

The accompanying video features the boys in Croatia looking all glum and moody whilst a storyline about a romance in a cinema unfolds. We attempted to contact Croatia to offer the boys as "moving military targets", but the Croatian government sadly refused to accept our kind offer.

Rated 1 out of 5

CRADLE OF FILTH - Forgive Me Father (I Have Sinned)

Lead singer of Cradle of Filth is Dani Filth. He is a 37 year old man. That's right, he is a fully grown man. No, seriously, he is. Although, we are all quitle baffled as to why a 37 year old man should want to wear all-leather body suits, make-up, and rebel like a weird 15 year old schoolgirl. Anyway, this is metal with that silly growly singing that they do.

This is even more ridculous than Dappy and N-Dubz, which is probably the worst insult of all time. Horrible. If you are a weird 15 year old schoolgirl or you liked that metal song Hard Rock Hallelujah by Mr Lordi that won Eurovision in 2006, then you'll probably like this.

Rated 1 out of 5