Planning Your Shy Child's Birthday Party - 10 Tips For A Stress-Free, Happy Birthday
- Author Linda Kling
- Published November 24, 2010
- Word count 762
A birthday party is fun. But it can be an overwhelming experience for a shy child, especially if he or she is the guest of honor. Here are ten tips to make the celebration easy, comfortable and wonderful for your child.
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Involve him with every aspect of the party planning. When the birthday boy or girl helps plan all the details of the celebration, he feels in control. He will feel comfortable in this situation, because he helped to create it.
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Have the party at home. No matter how tempting an outside venue may be, a shy child will feel more secure at his house. He'll be confident in the comfort of familiar surroundings and won't feel out of place. And, if at any time he feels overly anxious, he can retreat to a safe place for a minute, until he regains his composure.
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Keep the guest list small. Even fully mature grown ups can sometimes get intimated by large crowds. A houseful of active, noisy kids can make a quiet child feel anxious. Keep the group at a manageable size.
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Invite the right kids. This is not the time to include newcomers, with the hope of expanding his circle of friends. Stick to those who are already in his comfort-zone, like best friends, siblings, cousins and kids he plays with in the neighborhood. He'll feel at ease with that group and it will make him more confident.
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Limit the party length. In this case, less is more. Plan enough time for games, cake and fun. But don't go overboard. If the festivities go too long and the activities run out, the guests will be restless. They'll still want to be entertained and your child may not know how to handle them.
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Include the right games. Look for non-competitive activities everyone can do. Have the kids work on a craft that ties in with the theme of the party. Go for gentle games that don't require a lot of skill, and reward every participant with a prize. A treasure hunt can be a good idea, if you assign each of the kids a different color and let them search for their own color-coded bounty.
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Make a plan for blowing out the candles. Some shy kids feel extremely self-conscious when everyone is looking at them and singing happy birthday. They may feel panic-stricken by the time they're expected to blow out those candles. If your child feels this way, try to make it more low key. You could push the cake table against the wall, position your child in front of the cake, with the rest of the guests in back of him when they sing. Another solution is to have everyone sing really fast. Provide one big candle made in the shape of the number of the year he's celebrating. It's easier to extinguish a single candle in the shape of a seven, then seven individual candles.
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Wait until after the party to open the gifts. If he opens his presents during the celebration, he will be the center of attention. His guests will be watching to see what he gets and his reaction to it. This can be overwhelming for a timid child. Postpone this until later, when the guests have gone home and he's relaxed. Then, he can unwrap the packages. Don't forget to take a photo of him playing with, wearing or using the gift to include in the thank you card.
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Have a helper. Of course, making a birthday party run smoothly is a lot of work. But you don't want to be so busy and preoccupied that you lose sight of how your shy child is doing. If you have someone there to lend a hand, it will be easier to pay attention to how he's dealing with things. Then, if you notice signs that he's feeling stressed, you can divert his attention by asking him to do a simple task. He'll think that you just needed him to get that bottle of soda out of the refrigerator, and won't realize that you distracted him, so he would calm down.
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Don't worry. There's nothing wrong with being shy. Most kids grow out of it, as their confidence increases. We all have our moments when we feel self-conscious in social situations. Just do your best to make him feel comfortable, so he can relax and have a good time.
It's really easy to plan a great birthday party for your shy child. Just take these steps to reduce potential stress triggers and watch him have a happy celebration.
Linda Kling, as the owner of www.photo-party-favors.com, has offered ideas to people planning birthday parties since 1992. Her company features cool kids personalized party favors, such as photo mint tins, ready to fill with treats or treasures. Visit her website for free printables, party recipes, birthday quotes, more.
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