A method for making new friends without being afraid

Have you ever watched small children, say 3-6 years old at a play park? They don’t necessarily know each other and yet within five minutes, you will probably see them talking, laughing and playing together. "Ha!" you say. "They don’t know what it feels like to be rejected!" That is true enough, but they could teach adults a thing or two about how to make new friends.

First, you need to forget your fear, or act in spite of it. Sure, you may get knocked back a few times when attempting to make friends, but is that such a bad thing? It might be embarrassing at the time, but you don’t want to be friends with everyone, because you don’t have things in common with everyone. So, people who reject you are just not your type of people. Move on!

In making new friends, it is better to listen more than you talk. People like other people who make them feel good. If you take the time to listen to the other person – and I mean really listen, not just hang on, bored, until it’s your turn to speak – you will be rewarded by more people wanting to become your friend. Don’t interrupt them and don’t worry, you will soon have your turn to speak and if listening well, you will have much more to talk about as you will be able to pick up on the information you were given.

You can ease the process of making new friends along by asking the right questions. You can show you were listening well by asking questions that are linked to what the other person has just talked about. That demonstrates to people that you are interested in them and they will like you all the more for it.

Be prepared to compromise and to not openly voice your opinions if they are in opposition to those of the people you are talking to. You will have many, many years of friendship in which to air your views when you know people better. The time to do that is not on a first meeting or early in the developing relationship.

Making new friends also involves making an emotional connection with the other person. If you are friendly and open and you talk about your interests and those of other people with enthusiasm, you will be able to do that. Remember the little details of what people tell you and be able to talk about them and ask questions which convey your interest. That will take you much closer to making new friends.

Appear confident yet not arrogant. Stand up straight and make comfortable eye contact, so that your body language conveys that confidence too. Project your confidence and comfort in your voice, banishing the quiver and not speaking too loudly or too softly. Add emotion and enthusiasm to your voice and people will want to listen to you and talk to you. This is vital if you want to make new friends because without having conversations with the other person, you cannot hope to be friends with them.

The knack behind making new friends is in putting the other person at ease. To do this, you need to have the confidence to be yourself and to listen to other people and appreciate their views. If you can do this and express and interest in other people, you are well on the road to making new friends.