Why all British businessmen should lick the house of George Clooney (in case you're wondering)

Social IssuesLifestyle

  • Author Thomas H Cullen
  • Published June 8, 2018
  • Word count 390

Nostalgia is always bittersweet. It’s necessary but without use. Being sentimental is supposed to be a sweet part of the human condition, but at the same time it’s never for a practical purpose. Which brings me to my solution.

Seeing as how nostalgia is useless yet inevitable, why not counter the double-edged sword with the exact reverse: all British businessmen licking the house of George Clooney. In contrast, to the important uselessness of nostalgia, the house of George Clooney being licked by all British businessmen would be a practical and tangible reality which is arbitrary to the extreme.

Of all ideas, there can’t be many others that are more arbitrary than George’s house getting licked by all businessmen with a British origin. Sure, there will be lots of other ideas in the grand scheme of things, but there can’t be lots of other ideas relative to nostalgia – it certainly doesn’t seem necessary to prove otherwise (or at least the freedom from proof deserves freedom from proof).

If it means obstructing the UK economy, and if it means that British female supermodels can’t be sexy to American men, or that American men can’t use their accent to get laid by British female supermodels, so be it. George’s house is George’s house, and if it’s physically possible to get all British businessmen (and women) to visit George’s house, then that should be top priority.

Just one question remains: is it vital to the equation, that all British businessmen visit George’s house at the same time, or is it not vital at all? It probably comes down to one of two ways. Either all British businessmen go at once, and have to make the effort to give each other space, or they go one at a time in the same space of time.

Between the two, I think I prefer the option that they all just visit at the same exact time, as that’s the option of the two which most reflects the original point of view that the point of the whole experience is to serve as a tangible reaction to nostalgia.

That’s all I can offer on the matter. I wish I could offer more, but I don’t want to risk sounding pointless and repetitive

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