Is it better to run your classroom by love or fear, should you be a nice or mean teacher, should you be friendly or unfriendly, approachable or distant, smile or frown?

I would gather to say that most of us have entertained this question from time to time throughout our teaching careers. As a new teacher it is a question that you will invariably ask yourself again and again. So what is the answer? What is the most effective way to manage your classroom?

When answering this question it got me thinking about a book I read a long time ago called The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli. So I Googled it to get a refresher. The book speaks of the best way for a Prince to rule. I guess as teachers we could be considered the rulers of our mini-kingdom so let's take a look at his answer.

"Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, it is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with... ...and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails."

"...Nevertheless a prince ought to inspire fear in such a way that, if he does not win love, he avoids hatred; because he can endure very well being feared whilst he is not hated"

So, he suggests a little of both as a good measure. But when it comes to teaching, fear alone may work against you because as he suggests hatred is it's close cousin. Remember that we are nurturing the development of humans and not just ruling a kingdom. Think back upon teachers that you considered to be your best.

Did you hate them and fear them or did you like them and respect them? Did you look forward to class or did you dread class? Did you feel comfortable approaching them with a question or were you shaking in your boots like the lion approaching the Great OZ?

So does that mean we should try to be their B.F.F (best friends forever)? Think back to that teacher you really loved - were they your B.F.F. - in most cases no. That's not quite the answer either.

What about fear? I like to equate teaching to parenting. I find as a parent you love your kids unconditionally and they love you right back. You encourage them, you play with them, you're friendly with them, you're silly with them and they like you. However, if you're a good parent you can turn the switch when the time comes. You have set the boundaries and limits and you teach them to your children and when it is necessary you provide discipline. However, even in the midst of discipline you never stop loving your kids and they never stop loving you. There is a balance between being friendly and being strict. So your kids love you like crazy but who didn't have a little fear of their parents when they laid down the hammer.

Rather than calling it fear I would call it respect and rather than calling it discipline I would call it guidance. Kids need structure and they need to be guided. This requires a manager not a B.F.F.

So Machiavelli may have struggled with this question when it came to a classroom vs a kingdom. After all we are having to unite many qualities to be successful in our classrooms. So when it comes to the best personality you should have in the classroom I would provide these suggestions:

Remember it is your personality and you must come up with an approach that fits you. It is very difficult to become someone you are not. However keep in mind that just because you are friendly or loved doesn't mean you are weak.One does not imply the other. Fear is usually a short term fix where love can promote long term positive change. You can still be loved and strict.

Usually we resort to the fear and discipline approach when our students are acting out. This may be the result of our classroom management plan and have nothing to do with the personality you project in the classroom. If you have a good classroom management plan and follow it consistently then it may free you up to have the personality that makes you happy. I myself have run the gamut of personalities in the classroom. I started out trying to be a friend, which didn't work, then turned into the militant dictator, which didn't work and eventually realized if I focused on having a well run, organized and efficient classroom I could just be me.