Author's articles

Luck has nothing to do with it
By Andy Kay · 2 years ago
That’s right: Luck has nothing to do with it, as some allegedly "fortunate" people say. And in this case, "it" doesn’t just mean confidence. It means life. Life as you'd like it to be. And ...
Forget about forgetting your insecurity — here’s what to do instead!
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Deep down, we’d all like to be able to simply forget — or delete — our insecurity. Some people will claim that we’re better off having insecurity. Because it’s a natural, human trait that keeps ...
Okay, so you messed up. Now what?
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up. For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating. ...
Are you humble or vain?
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Many of us are raised into believing that humility, modesty and inner values are virtues. — And that those are superior and contradictory to being vain, selfish, and superficial. That money not only can’t buy ...
"The one word you need in order to succeed"
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Yeah, notice how there’s a lot of these kinds of headlines out there? "The one word you need in order to succeed". "Learn this one word and it'll change your life forever". To spare you ...
Why is taking the first step so hard?
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
If you’re anything like I used to be, you’ve been held back by your current problems for more than a matter of months. You've wanted to be taking the first step. But... How?? We do ...
Wait for it... -- On the virtue of patience
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Building confidence takes patience. -- In that it takes years. Some people attract confidence naturally. But, unfairly as the world works, not everyone does. If life's truly got you down, turning it around is one ...
Don't be that guy...
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
You know how in every comment section online there’s always that one guy who’s bitchy and moany about whatever the subject matter? Yeah, don't be that guy. Often, there’s more than one. (Lookin’ at you, ...
We need a more nuanced way of saying "just do it"
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
People with low confidence and/or depression endure additional frustration when confronted with the attitude of just do it. Popularized by an immense athletics corporation, it’s hard not to see the mass-appeal of this ubiquitous saying. ...
We don't "deserve" anything
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Many coaches and self-development whizzes will talk about living the life you "deserve", and how you somehow "deserve" certain things. But... You don’t deserve anything. Because nobody does. And already, I have a good idea ...
How forgiveness and empathy might harm you
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Anyone who has low confidence and self-esteem will know that a lot of one’s energy goes towards forgiveness and empathy. Towards worrying about what others think of you. When we do this, we give others ...
Two Major Mistakes You Should Stop Making Right Now
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
"Why can’t I just figure stuff out like everyone else?" "Am I the only one who doesn’t know how to take control of my life yet?" "How did everyone else learn know how to handle ...
Three Magic Words for Depression and Tough Times
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Show me a man who does not profess to having been upon hard times, and I’ll show you a liar. (Well, either that or one lucky bastard.) Even the bigshots, the Sylvester Stallones and Tony ...
What People Falsely Believe About Destiny
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
I’m tired of hearing people going on about how they were "meant" for something, and about how something was "meant" to be. Because… "Meant" by who or what? And when? And why? Is everyone and ...
Here's What REALLY Makes You Stronger
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
Back in the 19th century, there was a profoundly cool, albeit rather eccentric man – (a Ger-man!) – by the name of Friedrich Nietzsche. While he has since been sadly misunderstood by many, Nietzsche is ...
Why the Idea of "Perfection" is BS
By Andy Kay · 3 years ago
How many times have you looked at the cover of any men’s magazine and thought, "My God, Carmen Electra’s just perfect!" – only to immediately deem her out of your league? (Substitute for any model ...