VONS SUPERMARKET RADIO ADVERTISEMENTS - AWFUL!

by Dan O'Day

Vons is owned by Safeway Inc., which has an annual revenue of around $40 billion.

Surely they can afford to hire only the best people to create the advertising for its various brands. So I'm sure that's what they did: hire the very best to create Vons' radio advertising.

The opening line of your commercial is "the commercial for the commercial." This is your one opportunity to command the attention of the targeted listener.

So what did the high priced advertising wizards behind Vons' commercials do to grab the targeted consumer's attention from the very beginning...

"Spring is in the air."

That is how they begin the commercial?

With a meaningless cliche that has nothing at all to do with the advertiser and which could have been written by a 13-year kid as part of a class "write a pretend radio commercial" assignment?

But maybe I'm underestimating them. Maybe they cleverly connected 'Spring' to 'Vons' so powerfully that it all flows together naturally and irresistibly."

Uh, well...Here's the connection:

"And the only thing better than warmer weather is knowing that you can always save money at Vons."

Let's recap what we've learned so far:

1. The second best thing in your life is warm weather.

2. The best thing in your life is...

Your children's health? Your own health? World peace?

No. The best thing in your life is knowing that you can always save money at Vons.

They begin with a an irrelevant cliche.

They quickly move to a lie by saying: "And the only thing better than warmer weather is knowing that you can always save money at Vons."

They mention their "everyday low prices."

They mention their "Vons Club" prices.

They list some of the foods they have on special this week. (And, by the way, how many do you remember...?)

They tout their flu shots.

And then â€" before tagging the commercial with a bizarrely juxtaposed disclaimer, they end by...

Advertising a different supermarket chain.

Yes, Safeway owns both Vons and Pavilions. No, that doesn't mean a commercial for one should be a commercial for the other.

Vons and Pavilions have different names because they are different brands.

Different brands make different promises to the consumer.

Different promises require different messages to communicate them.

By the way, in this hemisphere Summer officially begins June 21. Gosh, I wonder how the Vons commercials will begin then?