Did you consider why we can understand others? It is not because the relationship or look, instead, it is the communication that makes two parties or more understand each other though some times with misunderstanding.

Understanding the basic principles of how we communicate and why we listen – what works, what doesn't, and why – starts you on the road to a realistic appraisal of what you want to say and how you plan to say it.

To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of communication barriers in conversation, make your sentences clear, concise, accurate, and well-organized. What’s more, interest should be aroused in the conversation. To achieve it, the best way is to find what the listeners’ interest and then let follow you, in that way, you become the leader of conversation and surely take the upper hand. Take a deal for example; an electronic wholesaler may attract customers with some sales promotion or say hello when potential customers who buy mp3 players standing in front of his store. Such a trick is a useful way to drag them away from the competitors, on the other hand, they may feel the wholesaler is a kind man who can be trusted, then a conversation my occur between them. In this process, the wholesaler sells products, earned money, and the customers get the mp3 player they are eager for.

As a matter of fact, not every listener in a conversation is listening to the speaker except the speaker takes the leadership. If you are a leader of a conversation, your audience must consciously think about what you are saying. There is slim chance that they are distracted by the scenery outside of the window, the laugh of other listeners, or pictures on the wall. Or you can say it is the charm of speaker that seizes them.

As we often deal with new ideas, we also want to persuade others to accept our point of view. Well, there are some built-in barriers in the way. Perhaps the greatest single stumbling block to real communication is the one-sided nature of speaking. Most of us mistakenly think of communication as a one-way process without any interactivity and feedback. When we say something, we concentrate on ourselves, put our idea and thought in our words and try our best to make the message across, in many cases without considering the participants’ feeling, which is not an effective conversation and may induce terrible results. I really hate this behavior, since I had such an experience before in the market. I was going to buy headphones and cell phone silicon cases. When I stood in front of a large store, the seller kindly said hello to me, and began to introduce the latest items in his store. I remembered I told him at least 3 times that what I want to buy are headphones and cell phone silicon cases, but he was always recommending the latest MP3 players to me after I bought them, which made me very angry. I guessed the MP3 players in his store must have a poor sale so he wanted to sell them out immediately.

There are too many factors should be considered in a real conversation; each of them has to be carefully paid attention in order to obtain good results and make the communication successful.