The trouble with most diets is that they call for a way of eating that is virtually impossible to maintain for more than a short period of time. To change your behavior you must be honest with yourself about what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, and most important, why you eat.

The real secret to losing weight, and keeping ,it off, is changing the way you behave around food.

Many people insist they do not overeat. They talk about the modest meals they eat, perhaps skipping breakfast in favor of a cup of black coffee. They swear that lunch is just a salad or a diet shake. But somehow they forget to mention - and probably have forgotten themselves - the midmorning muffin, that handful of jelly beans while chatting at a colleague's desk, the Happy Hour free hors d'oeuvres, a little taste of this and sip of that while preparing the family meal, the bedtime snack.

Do you have similar "freelance" eating episodes in your day?

Time to form a strategy

After taking the quiz and analyzing your answers, you should have a pretty good idea where food dangers lie for you. If you are like most people eat in response to triggers more often than in response to physiological hunger.

Knowing what your specific triggers are can help you modify your behavior in three different ways:

Avoid triggers: This may not always be possible, but it often will be. Take a look at your hunger triggers and see which ones you can avoid always or at least often. If family gatherings are nonstop food fests, perhaps you could suggest a noneating activity instead. If a jar of salted peanuts says "Eat all of me," ban peanuts from your home. If you eat less responsibly when you are alone, try to eat with others as often as possible.

Change the way you respond to triggers: When you cannot eliminate triggers from your life, you can substitute behavior. Instead of opening the refrigerator, how about opening a book and losing yourself in reading? Instead of walking to the cookie jar, how about taking a walk outside? Not only will that get you away from the cookie jar, it will burn some calories and maybe even lift the mood that made you want to reach for a sweet.

Find other ways to comfort yourself: When your mood makes you want comfort food, try a nonfood alternative. Perhaps a hot bath or a hug or sitting in a cozy chair with a blanket while listening to soothing music will answer your needs as well as a banana split or plate of meat loaf and mashed potatoes.

It's a fact of life that bad habits are easier to keep than good ones. Still, if you are able to identify things you do as habits, that's the first step in ridding yourself of the bad ones. I have suggested a few substitutions. Can you think of more that apply specifically to yourself and your circumstances?

It is difficult to just say no, but it is easier if you can replace one habit for another.

Make your own rules

Try to develop a set of rules for yourself. Write them down in your notebook and look at them frequently. Make a Food Blacklist: foods you simply do not eat. You'll be able to identify candidates for this list if you look at the answers to your quiz. Personally, roasted cashew nuts are my downfall. Once I eat one, I'll eat them all. I have made it a rule that I do not have them in the house. Because if I begin, I know I can easily consume my entire daily calorie requirement in one sitting and hate myself afterward.

Where will you go from here?

you took a hard look at your body and collected a lot of data to tell you whether you are overweight and, if so, by how much. In this chapter, I have asked you to think about your relationship to food and eating. Now it is time to decide whether you need to lose weight at all. And if you do, whether you are ready to make the commitment.

I believe such a commitment is essential before you can make the changes in habit and behavior that are required for permanent weight loss.

Remember: We are not looking for a quick fix to lose weight. We are aiming for a change in lifestyle that is sustainable over the long term.

Losing a few pounds is simple; keeping them off is the goal. So, where will you go from here?

Knowing what's right for you

Perhaps you have discovered your weight is well within the normal range and your BMI is within the definition of healthy weight. You do not need to lose more weight, but I hope you will adopt or maintain an active lifestyle and the healthful eating habits we've been talking about. And if, over the course of time, your weight begins to creep into overweight territory, I hope you'll pick up this book again.

If your self-assessment tells you there's weight to be lost, but you are not ready to change your behavior and make a serious commitment to being more active and eating in a healthier way, it may make more sense to put the idea of weight loss on the back burner. Let it simmer, though, and revisit the idea from time to time. Perhaps talking to a doctor or friend will convince you that your health depends on it. Perhaps being more aware of your behavior around food and exercise will keep alive the thought of changing. Just because you aren't ready now doesn't mean you never will be.

But if you're ready to really do it, let's go full speed ahead!