With all that is written about ADHD, most of us tend to think of an unruly child running about ruining whatever comes his way. So we often believe that we can spot the child with ADD while we are out. Well the naughty little boy is there fine, but did we ever spare a thought about the little girl who sits quiet and withdrawn with her mother, one who is overtly polite, terribly afraid to speak out and draws a blank when spoken to? In all probabilities, everyone would fail to guess that she might be suffering from ADD or the Attention Deficit Disorder.

Difficult as they are, ADD and ADHD have some obvious symptoms too. The affected person suffers from distraction, easy forgetfulness and low self-esteem, faces problem in following fast conversations and gets highly disordered with tasks. ADD and ADHD both can retard mental growth in this that the affected child has to struggle with school work and assignment deadlines, failing to finish things on time. These disorders also rob the child off his/her ability to manage the belongings and to keep track of time.

ADD Symptoms:

• Lacks vigor, suffers from sloth

• Values others more, respecting their individual limits

• Often unassertive or under-assertive

• Too much obedience

• Excessive humbleness and modesty

• Overtly polite and shy

• Avoiding crowd, preferring to stay alone and socially withdrawn

• Not able to open up easily and befriend, although they make a few bonds

Since it is assumed that girls are generally shy, people often overlook the ADD symptoms in them and they are left untreated. Their outward calm, quiet and politeness are usually to cover up the inner disturbance. ADD affected girls are emotional and highly sensitive to criticism; but the feelings invoked thus, after being criticized, remain untold. They just carry on with life, struggling silently. Interestingly enough, their ADHD counterparts move forward with absolutely no sign of stress or fatigue and seem totally unaffected by all deterrents in the walk of life. Girls suffering from ADD cannot withstand stress and usually draw back more into a shell with a belief that they are good-for-nothing and can never do anything right.

Helping a person with ADD

All ADD affected girls are predominantly emotional, irrespective of their nature—be it shy, social, introvert, hyperactive or super-impulsive. This over-sensitivity evidently invites regular upsets which, in turn, give rise to more and more stress. Hence, they should be taught to manage stress through various techniques from an early age. They must also be ascribed a certain revival time to regroup or collect themselves after every damage or emotional upset.

Although it is true that parents always wish the best for their children, they sometimes, unknowingly, impede mental growth in their kids by hurling too much criticism at them or by driving them mad with a series of never-ending do’s and don’ts like "You must not be so silly. You got to finish school with high grades", "You need to improve your looks. Try and be as smart as your brother", "You should be a little more assertive. This won’t help", "why do you let yourself be taken for granted? Wake up", "Make more friends", "Do not let go off things so easily" so on and so forth. While all these are fine at times, too much of criticism breeds low self-esteem in her—be she shy, outspoken, drawn-back or unruly!

At school, throughout the day, the confidence and self-regard of these girls are constantly shattered and their only respite is at home, where they can rebuild their crushed dignity and revitalize themselves to fight another day. Continuous criticism roots in them the belief that they are worthless. These girls suffering from ADD become extremely impulsive, disorganized and lack focus in everything only to secure poor grades in class. Full of distractions, these girls lack the vigor and energy to develop their personality and skill sets that their peers have. Instead of pointing at their limitations, it is better to compliment them or appreciate when they pick up a skill or show signs of a good ability. Their psyche just needs a positive boost. And it’s not hard to make them feel good—an ADD-affected girl can easily get lucky and find interest in some activity. That then becomes the first positive move, the most desired turning point in their lives!