Thursday 3rd December

I got to my six-year-old daughter’s school just in time to watch her Christmas production of Jack Frost still thinking about Arsenal’s terrible performance at City the previous night. My £150 sell of supremacy at 0.6 had resulted in a £360 loss on a game I hadn’t even watched.

Anyway, Phoebe was brilliant dressed as a penguin and her Michael Jackson dance was equally impressive. She had a pillow round her waist and looked alarmingly like me! However, man of the match definitely had to go to Jack Frost himself who sang two solos at the age of just seven. In fact, he did just about everything… I would have like to have bought his player performance.

Friday 4th December

I tipped a few people a Brian Meehan trained two-year-old in Lingfield’s 1.15pm contest and it was backed from 4/5 to 3/10. Embarrassingly, Fashion Insider finished second and I was sent a few text messages that cannot be printed here.

I didn’t have a penny on it because it was far shorter than I thought it would be, but that doesn’t make tipping up one of the shortest priced flat losers of the year any better. I also chose not to buy £10 of Manyriverstocross at 16 on the index in Sandown’s 2.00pm contest as a similar bet on the same horse at Ascot a few weeks ago had cost me – obviously it hosed in and the £340 would have paid for my Carling Cup debacle a few nights earlier.

Anyway, my only bet of the day came in Lingfield’s 2.25pm race where I bought £20 of Red Somerset on the index at 6. A good source told me that he was really well fancied by his stable from his good draw and would race prominently before taking over in the straight. Well, he missed the break and only swept past one of the other nine runners in the straight. Another £120 down the drain… wow, I’m in red hot form at the moment.

Saturday 5th December

I headed to the Gloucester v Newcastle Guinness Premiership game with my punting confidence at an all-time low. I’d been told by one very good source to get with the home side giving up the points and by another to get with Newcastle. I had a feeling that whatever I opted to do would be wrong!

Well, my first bet of the day was a disaster. I bought the well fancied Nycteos on the index for Sandown’s 12.55pm race and rang up to listen to the commentary in the car. It wasn’t mentioned for the entire race and I only found out later that Ruby Walsh unseated at the second hurdle. Yes, you read that right, HURDLE! I was £160 down and had probably paid about £4 in commentary line bills to listen to my loose horse canter around Sandown without a jockey!

However, my luck changed immediately after I missed Somersby winning the Henry VIII Novices’ Chase. First of all, Twist Magic won the Tingle Creek and my £200 win at 7/2 ante-post paid some of my recent transgressions (in the punting sense rather than the Tiger Woods sense!).

I had also bought Gloucester supremacy for £20 at 7 and they went in at half-time with a 4 point lead so things were beginning to look up. Then came Eric’s Charm! My £20 buy at 14 on the index was rewarded with the maximum £720 return… I was back! The Gloucester Old Spot sausage (that’s not some Tiger Woodseque sexual innuendo!) suddenly tasted that much better.

Back to the game and despite a last minute Newcastle try, Gloucester ran out comfy 12 point winners and I trousered another £100. A long drive home and and even longer dinner party followed, but I didn’t mind, I was back in the Winners Enclosure.

Sunday 6th December

Sadly, my spell in the said Winners Enclosure didn’t last for that long. Mr Invincible (I’ve also been described as Mr Incredible before… not sure whether that’s because I’m extremely strong or because I’ve got a large belly and a nose you can catch fish with!) was suddenly not so invincible! Morgan Be was beaten a mile (quite literally) in the Borders National and In Compliance found one too good in the John Durkan Memorial. Anyway, the pair cost me £210 and even though I nicked £140 by selling goals in the Fulham v Sunderland game, the same bet cost me £170 in the Spurs game. Thank God Defoe missed the penalty late on or it could have been even worse.

Monday 7th December

No real bets to report as most of the day (and night) was spent at the Derby Awards Lunch in London. Sea The Stars and his connections won just about everything… if they’d entered the Photographer of the Year Award they may have won that too! The highlight of the event was without doubt the Lifetime Achievement Award given to Barry Hills. He has been desperately ill and the whole room stood in appreciation for at least 5 minutes. There won’t be a racing punter out there who hasn’t ever won a few quid on one of his runners over the last four decades and he really is a living training legend.

The drunken man who sat next to me on the train home certainly wasn’t a living legend though. By the end of the journey I wished he wasn’t living at all… he needed a good bath and a solid thumping… in whatever order he wanted.

Tuesday 8th December

Phoebe’s 6th Birthday and I was in a mad scramble to get home for her birthday party after a few meetings in London. More importantly, I had the six packets of smarties that made up the dress on her Barbie cake. My wife had made a chocolate cake and shoved half a Barbie in the top to make it look like a dress. Sadly, without the smarties, the whole structure looked more like blonde woman sinking in quick sand! She was sunk to her waste before Mr Incredible arrived to give the dress the colours it was so desperate for.

The party went well, but not as well as Cardiff against the Baggies. I paid for at least 286 packets of smarties by selling £100 of the Baggies’ supremacy, but gave a bit back by selling £100 of goals in Chelsea’s 2-2 draw.

Wednesday 9th December

Just paid £60 for a dead tree – Christmas is fast approaching. Decorated the tree with the kids whilst keeping an eye on the Champions League and Newcastle’s game at Coventry. I sold £100 of Olympiakos/Arsenal at 0.35, £100 of Barcelona/Kiev at 0.9 and £100 of Newcastle/Coventry at 0.5. Well, after all it is the season to beat jollies! (I’m sorry, that’s brilliant, if I don’t say so myself).