More than 26 million Americans suffer from a phobia. Of over 200 known phobias, one of the most common is acrophobia. Acrophobia is defined as an extreme irrational fear of heights.

As far back as I can remember, I have carried around this paralyzing fear. Paralyzing is a good description because it literally does just that. My legs seem to lose all ability to move. My feet transform into blocks of concrete, and my body begins to inadvertently crouch down as if touching the floor or lowering myself would make the entire situation just go away.

Being one of the only children afraid of jumping off the high dive at summer camp really made for an uncomfortable social experience. Even the teasing and name calling were no challenge for my fear. The fear of standing on that high dive made my heart race and I found breathing to be a struggle. I could just never do it.

What caused this fear? Who knows? Maybe it was falling so many times as a child. Maybe it was the terrible experience of driving down Pike’s Peak with my family as my maniac step-father ignored the "No Passing" signs as we flew around every car we encountered.

Whatever caused me to have this fear has controlled my life in many situations. Out of town family trips always begin with one important question: "What floor is our room on?" Usually an inquiry about the type of elevator follows. "Is it glass?" You can imagine the frustration and embarrassment my family must feel when the bellhop has to move our luggage to a lower floor because someone failed to see the "low floor" request when our room was being assigned.

Where does Acrophobia Come From?

Although experts have different theories, there is no clear diagnosis of what causes this phobia. Some experts believe acrophobics inherit this fear from ancestors. Some believe it stems from cavemen who feared falling off of cliffs. Others think childhood experiences have triggered the fear which then manifested itself into a phobia. Whatever the cause, it can disrupt a person’s life. When placed in situations that trigger my phobia, my heart rate increases. My temperature rises and I become dizzy and nauseous. Mentally I perceive the situation to be far more dangerous than it really is. I have learned over the years to treat my fear through avoidance. Choosing to drive to vacation spots to avoid flying, never riding big rides at amusement parks and always staying on a lower floor in hotels are just a few of the ways I have learned to cope with my fear.

I have been perfectly comfortable dealing with my fear until now. I find myself smothering my children with my own fear. This became a reality for me last summer when we took a family vacation to Disney World in Florida. My children were so excited about riding "Splash Mountain." As we waited in line for 45 minutes, my mind began to race. It was so much higher than I had expected. The closer we got the more afraid I became. Macy was so small and the ride was so high. What if she was too small to hold on and the force of the steep drop pushed her out? All these scenarios flooded my mind. When it was our turn I immediately took Macy’s hand and exited down the stairs. I will never forget her tear filled eyes as she asked me why she couldn’t ride. After all, she was tall enough. My every attempt to explain this to my now sobbing daughter was a failure. How could I explain that it was my fear that kept her from enjoying a ride she had looked forward to all week?

This incident opened my eyes to how debilitating my fear was. I told myself I had to take Macy on Splash Mountain before our vacation ended. This promise made her tears dry up but it also made me nauseous. The last day at Disney World I did go on the ride with my family. With my husband holding on to Macy, we plunged over the side of the terrifying drop. I have no idea what it looked life because I never opened my eyes.

Researchers suggest friends and family are an important part of any successful treatment. I don’t know if you would consider my experience of actually going on the ride successful, but I will say it is a step in the right direction. Macy’s heart break really made me reflect on how my phobia is affecting my children.

It is said that acrophobia can be hereditary, and that children might just inherit it from parents. It is also argued that the fear of heights can be non-associative and it is a general human reflex that works more in some individuals which is termed as fear.

Finding a Phobia Cure

Most experts believe that people live in fear throughout their lives because they are too scared to try and face their phobias. This has clearly been the case with me. There are several options for treatments ranging from prescription drugs to therapy and counseling. Other more radical approaches include forcing the acrophobic to face their fear all at once. For example, a treatment for me would be to ride an elevator to the top of a building and peer over the ledge. While I am aware of my fear and open to treatment, I do not feel this radical approach would be the treatment I would choose. For my family’s sake, I am willing to seek help for my fear, but what form that help will be in is still uncertain.

I prefer baby steps!