As a weight loss coach, one of the first questions I ask most clients is how much of their total joy in life comes from food and food-related activities. When the percentage is high, I understand why they are having a hard time losing weight. I have worked with hundreds of clients who get too much of their happiness from food.

I recently had am overweight client who lived alone and didn't have much outside interaction. Of all the joy she had in her life, 95 percent came from food. As you can imagine, she was not too excited to reduce her food intake in order to lose weight, as it was directly connected to the amount of joy she would experience in her life.

Whenever this is the case, I don't start with the food, I start with the joy. I didn't attempt to have the client reduce her food intake until she added at least 50 percent more joy from other sources into her life. In this particular client's case, she made a list of all the things in her life she could start doing that could bring her more joy. She learned how to fish, she took a jewelry- making class, she started walking, she spent more time with her friends, and she joined a volunteer organization. All of these activities started to fill her with joy and happiness and a sense of contribution. At this point, it was easier for her to stop overeating because she could rely on herself for her joy instead of just the food.

A good rule of thumb is if you feel like you need more than 10 percent of your total eating per day to be just for the sake of joy, you are most likely getting too much of your joy from food. If you feel as if you are really missing out on something when you can't eat 50 percent or more joy food, that is an indication that your joy needs to be diversified from food into other activities and practices that can help you create happiness.

Finally, even if it isn't food you are getting joy from, you still don't want to have all your joy in one basket. If it's all wrapped up in a man, when the man leaves, you can be devastated. If a huge percentage of joy comes from your kids, then when they leave, you are left feeling empty. If you get most of your joy from your work, when you quit or get fired or end your career, you can be left feeling unhappy. So spread out the joy in your life. Use all the balanced sources in life from your family, your career, your social life, and your spiritual life so they can work together in bringing you a steady sense of well-diversified joy.