Anna Nicole Smith

Written after she passed reflecting our communications.

Some time after I had spoken to Anna Nicole Smith, I began to experience what I call an energetic, ethereal "out of body", combined reaction to someone else's life experience.

Only I didn't know it at the time. Something just took over my body and life during the sleep hours and caused me to really try to understand the power and extension of energy that is possible between two sources, receiving energies...or two human beings, who's thoughts and experiences were enmeshed.

Anna Nicole Smith, called me for the first time after she gave birth to her daughter "Dannielynn" Hope Marshall Stern and her son Daniel Wayne Smith had tragically passed away.

Anna Nicole left so many messages and had an urgent need to communicate. Their is a true need to communicate with someone who has an understanding of "life after death", or "life after this life" as it's been expressed to me. Most people find out who we are, " Intuitive Mediums" and what we do when they go through a sudden, unexpected or unexplained death.

Or when they can't seem to reconcile their feeling around the event of someone they love dying. I called the number Anna Nicole left, there was no mistaking her voice, her mind was clear and her thoughts were very sync and intelligent, she was not slurred or unintelligible, she was strong and determined to ask the questions.

What I found was a woman who seemed to be open to the process of life after the death of her son Daniel. We spoke for some time and what I remember most was the way in which she was able to handle the conversation in spite of her grief.

It was so clearly evident that she had been blind sided by the death of her son "Daniel" her beautiful son and Anna was lost in every sense of the word. Her words were of concern for Daniel in a very physical sense, she wanted to know if he was "cold", if he could feel the world around him. Did Daniel know what happened...to him? Could he see her?. Where was he? She wanted me to tell her where her son Daniel was...

As I lay down at night my mind would seize and tense with fear ... My fear of dying while closing my eyes while trying to fall asleep ... At first my mind would wander to my children and how I loved them and how I wanted to smell them and be close to them. Almost immediately I would wander away to thoughts of just closing my eyes and dying floating away.. It didn't much matter I didn't care. I would flinch in fear as I was thinking that , I didn't want to die!!! It's as if I couldn't stop it, I would doze off. and jolt awake.

My breath is becoming labored my throat is tightening and suddenly I 'm thrown out of my body, it seems this way for hours I can't focus on why I am feeling like this. This to me feels like he is in the in-between life and death that body hasn't completely shut down.

I jump and force myself awake, in complete fear. The numbness and sinking feelings of complete desperation is overwhelming. I turn to my husband and tell him I am dying , I am dying Oh God I don't want to die. Its the strangest sensation and continues for nights on end which turn in to weeks at this point that I am now terrified to sleep because sleep means I will knock on the door of death and walk through the door of life and be stuck some were in between.

My legs begin to feel numb my right side is swollen and I am thinking something is wrong, a clot a stoppage something stops my circulation, then my breath as I gasp, oh god I can't breath, my eyes wander backwards and the lights are fuzzy. During Christmas my sleep is further hijacked by the odd sensations that are causing me to bolt into my children's room and touch their tiny heads to see that they are real , then the attention turns back to see if I am real.

Can they see me...? Can any one see me? I run to the mirror, my face is falling, my skin is melting and I am gasping for breath, the panic that stings and surges through my body is causing me to hyperventilate. I can not understand what is happening. My face is falling, drooping, I no longer have life in my body, At this point my right leg is swelling again and I did something I haven't done is 20 years, I took an aspirin.

I took an aspirin thinking what ever was making my leg swell and feel stuck would unclog it. Only thing is I don't have cloistral or clogging or even high blood pressure, yet these symptoms cause me to panic.

This continued and I go between feelings of abject fear and feeling of being high and enjoying the ride I have concerns for my life for my death for my family but especially my children I am not ready to die. I can no longer consider sleeping because this continues to wake me up and shut me down it's exhausting and I want it to stop...! Just like everyone else I have heard the news about "Ann Nicole Smith" being found dead in her Florida Hotel room.

"My mind immediately flashes to the breakfast drink of orange juice she had along with the clear liquid she had poured into the drink sipping beautifully from the straw that adorned the drink. She begins to feel sick and woozy and her stomach is nauseous, she clearly doesn't feel well at that point..

She collapses in front of the bed and that is what I see. She is dead.." I am trying to see if she is with her son Daniel, "she is not"... I am left blank with that image....

"Only I am hearing on the other end of a phone conversation with her close friend Sandy who had called and has no idea what to do she is devastated and crying . I talk to Sandy and she cries, sobbing uncontrollably, truly their is no helping her at this point it's over whelming. My body and mind are reacting too or living with in someone else's experience, I am living someone's death ...

It's mind blowing! And then as suddenly as the experience started the terrifying night sensations stopped and the following day after Anna Nicole Smith's death.

I am sitting with a client in my house and I mention Anna Nicole's name and the room is becoming ice cold the temperature drops 20 degrees and we can feel the manifestation of Anna Nicole, she is standing energetically in my living room. I know she is there and remember that people's energy manifests to somewhere or someone it knows can receive the message, Anna Nicole knew in life that this is my work and in death she followed me to speak, to be heard...

No one on the TV or in the media is hearing her. She is loud, humorous and distracting to the point that my client can sense her and feel the energy. My computer crashes immediately and the light's flicker... My god it' s Anna Nicole Smith and she is coming through and she is adamant about wanting to talk to those she loves, who loved her .

She is throwing energy and power like you can't imagine... For the next week Ann Nicole Smith makes a concentrated effort to get my attention in order to get the attention of those who she knew and loved in life. Her messages are strong and precise and she clearly wants to be heard. As I try to shut her out of my mind , I am shown the "doors" as in all the doors in my home slam shut as she swirls around and insists I listen to her. I am physically locked out of my bedroom and have never been able to use the lock since, the doors move and shut, slamming when I am not listening to her....

I am tired and I am trying to sleep because of the bronchial pneumonia I somehow picked up during this experience, my breath is congested and I have a fever, I just want to sleep. There is no way that was happening, I was literally locked out of my room until my husband climbed onto the roof and into the window and opened the door from inside out.

She is very clear, contrary to the media implications that "Howard K Stern" did not kill her and she did not commit suicide. She tells me she did think about killing herself often after Daniel died, but she couldn't because of her baby daughter Dannielynn ...

She is angry that people want to make Howard, the bad guy she says he isn't !!! She also acknowledges to me that Larry Birkhead is Dannielynn's father and that Howard K Stern was doing as she asked him. She seems to tell me about a situation with Larry that left her feeling as though he had taken advantage of her, at least that is her understanding of it and he crossed her so she left him.

It comes up around the conception of the baby almost like she is made at him for what happened during the conception time...She is angry at Larry and doesn't want to talk to him... She is also very clear that she did take drugs, and at first she was lonely and liked the drugs they made her feel good she seems to have suffered from crippling child like fears almost as though she didn't really evolve emotionally into the strength of her years on earth would have guided..

She seems to think like a child with a strong presence and wants to be heard... she is also showing me the pain her body was in for the past 8 years and the swelling on the right side, the ones I had felt during my sleep. She shows me the morning he passed away and is telling me that she wasn't murdered and she is truly angry at the media for portraying her life as out of control. It was to some degree but Howard was no Svengali like people say.

As I go about my day picking my kids up from school living my life and doing the things that mom's who work do. I'm noticing that Anna energy is throwing off the electrical everywhere I am going. As my night goes quiet I am asking Anna if she has connected to her son Daniel, she has not, she is strong and composed and is showing me that with the confusion and fighting over her body people especially her Mother are blocking her from being with Daniel, she will not be with him unit she is buried...

Her mother is a source of rage, when I spoke to Anna in life she was enraged at her Mother in death that feeling never wavered but expanded to include that she felt empathy for her Mother and sadness at her Mothers unwillingness to see why Anna had been made. In other words Virgie Aurther was unable to understand what she had done as a Mother to cause her child Anna Nicole such pain. Anna acknowledged this...

She told me that she did wish to be buried by her son Daniel and that holding off the burial was causing her great stress at not connecting to Daniel. She was giving me images of she and Daniel watching her funeral from under a tree, it wasn't tropical tree , it was a fully blooming tree and large enough that they could both observe the funeral.

Once she was with Daniel she would be okay. Of this I am certain and in my whole conversation with Anna Nicole Smith her connection in life as in death was with her son Daniel, the new baby Dannielynn was the catalyst for her new life experience, her connection to her infant daughter was brief at most and expressed through a series of karmic events....

Anna warns Larry Birkhead that her Mother, Virgie Arther will be relentless with him in trying to get their daughter Dannielynn. The baby will be with a shorter dark haired woman, who will be the primary caretaker. Howard K Stern will find himself side lined by the life and death of Anna Nicole Smith and recovering from his experience will take him many years...

Anna Nicole in the end of her physical life, admits to a deep and painful sadness that started off as an exciting adventure. She acknowledges that she has felt both great pain and sadness in life and still does in death.

She is strongly secure in the knowledge that their were people who loved her, some times in life she wasn't sure. After my experience with Anna Nicole Smith, I was interviewed by Inside Edition's Jim Moret, Anna came through and made it very clear during the interview that her life was not as it was being portrayed and that she had more influence and command over certain elements, Anna Nicole just hated not being listened too and being considered a victim.

Her life was an expression of her mind and insights into what she wanted to accomplish.