Adults often find it very difficult to handle the anger of a child. We need to remind ourselves that very few of use were told our to handle anger ourselves when we were children. We were led to believe that anger was a negative emotion to be repressed and curtailed. Expressing anger is seen in a linear fashion, when the truth is that anger is a natural emotion and can be expressed in various forms.

It is going to be a lot simpler for you if you can rid yourself of this premise. Our aim should not be to repress or destroy angry feelings, but rather to accept the feelings and channel them towards a more constructive greater good. If we allow a child to express their feelings we can then take appropriate measures to counteract these feelings and get to their root causes.

I know this is a lot easier said than done, and I know there are situations where it is not appropriate for the child to have an out burst, but to respond effectively to overly aggressive behaviour, we need to have some idea about what triggered the outburst. We cannot do this if we lose control ourselves. The anger your child is expressing may be a defence against deep-rooted insecurities and painful feelings; it may be associated with low self esteem, and isolation. Anger is often a reaction against a perceived loss of control. Therefore, your child may well be reacting from an urge to assert greater independence.

You should also remember that children are new to the world of emotions and feelings. As adults, we have learnt to separate different feelings into shades of grey. Children lack emotional maturity so tend to have a black and white concept of emotions and feelings. Anger is the natural manifestation of feelings, which in adults would just make them sad, or silently jealous.

Anger and sadness are very close to one another in children ; but so to is anger and aggression, although there are some important distinctions to be made. Anger is a temporary emotional state; aggression is often a fixed trait or characteristic of a personality. Aggression does not have to be channeled at people in physical violence, nor does it have to be viewed as a negative state. Aggression is often used to achieve sporting success and to maintain overall competitiveness.Some interesting ideas have sprung from research into child anger management. Some of these techniques have become popularised in the recent glut of 'Supper Nanny' style reality TV shows.

If your child is often angry and restless, then provide them with an outlet. Our children are leading more sedentary lives than they used to, so provide opportunities for physical exercise for them. As the one person they respect the most, your children depend on your behaviour towards them more than you might think. Closeness and touching are effective counter measures to take against the angry child. When your child is having an angry impulse, move physically closer to wards them. Young children often find the presence of an adult to be a calming influence. A child who is about to do something destructive to a toy or object can often be stopped in their tracks from a gentle request by an adult to have a look at it. Rather than becoming angry, try to explain their feelings. Help the child to understand their emotions. The manner you choose to communicate with your child sets the example of their own future conduct. A child may lose control but when they see gentle and stern disapproval, the effect can be quite striking.