How do you feel about people who like to be in charge and order you around? Are you one of these people?

This begins a series of articles on how to communicate with people who have different behavioral styles than you do – people who can be intimidating, maddening, confusing, or downright irritating. The four DISC behavioral styles are based on the model defined by psychologist William Moulton Marston in his book, The Emotions of Normal People.

THE D (DOMINANCE) STYLE

In this article we'll get a better understanding of how to deal with people who have a high D (Dominance) behavioral style. The D factor in our behavioral profile determines how we handle problems and challenges. Dominant Dan has no problem running the show. If he has a strong Core D style (Dominance is his highest factor), he'll tend to be demanding, bold, driving, pioneering, direct, competitive, and determined. Dan must have authority equal to his responsibility in any situation; if not, he'll find a way to take control sometimes to his detriment.

Dominant Dan has qualities that others with the same style admire; yet those who are low in the D factor see as liabilities or even as obnoxious behaviors. They include a willingness to take risks and a strong desire to win. Dan is results-oriented, argumentative, and quick to challenge. He doesn't mind making mistakes; he'll just correct them and move on.

D STYLE LIMITATIONS

If you're like Dan, you need to know areas in which you are limiting your effectiveness. For example, you may act or speak before thinking, be impatient, create fear in others, try to juggle too much at once, interrupt and not listen well.

If you’re low in the D factor you tend to be peaceful, agreeable, cooperative, cautious, humble, mild. You tend to think through a situation before making a decision. So you can see how people with low D factors can be intimidated by Core D Styles, and how Dominant Dan might get impatient with them.

If you work or live with those who have a Core D style, here are some of the ways in which to communicate and not communicate with them to be effective:

DO:

Be clear, specific, brief, and to the point

Stick to business, be prepared and organized

Be efficient

DON'T:

Ramble or waste their time socializing

Forget/lose things or be disorganized

Make decisions for them

If you disagree, don't take issue with them personally.

COMMUNICATION TIPS

When communicating with Dominant Dan use direct eye contact, shake hands firmly, and use linear gestures. Your attitude should be confident and your tone of voice strong, clear, and direct.

Understand that this type of person wants to be in control. That doesn't mean you have to let them dominate you; indeed they respect those who stand up to them. If you're the type of person who dislikes confrontation, understand that Dan has no problem with it and at times thrives on it. Don't let him bully you and yet try not to take his bossiness personally. It may help to realize that you probably do things that drive him nuts, too!

Admire Dan - and Dana - for their ability to take charge and efficiently get results!