I guess it depends on who you ask. If you survey a bunch of managers,

chances are a large number of them will say they often feel they have to be

parent-like and they do not mean this in a good way. They usually mean it in

a diminishing way; they think their employees are like children and need

constant supervision or they will get into trouble, or goof off, or be

irresponsible, etc.

If you survey employees they will likely say their managers act too much like

parents again not in a good way. They report their managers are overbearing,

controlling, restrictive, often treating them like children.

Now if you ask most managers and employees how they wish it would be that

would be a different story. I know because I have asked lots of managers and

employees how they want it to be at work. Managers want their employees to

act like adults and employees want to be treated like mature, capable adults.

Managers want to be able to trust their employees to get their job done and

employees want to be trusted. Managers want employees to be accountable and

employees want to be given a chance to show their stuff and take ownership

for their successes and failures. Managers want a team that works well

together and employees want to contribute to and be part of something

worthwhile.

All these wants are outcomes of great managing and great parenting. Someone

once said, "A farmer doesn't grow crops. A farmer creates an environment

where crops can grow." This statement is also true for both great parents

and great managers. Great managers and great parents create a culture where

there is freedom to grow, it is safe to take risks, to learn and enhance your

capacities.

Here are some of the key attributes that lead to the kind of culture where

extraordinary performance can show up:

• Creating a compelling vision so employees can feel a part of something

important and worthwhile.

• Offer opportunities for employees to be challenged so they learn and

stretch their capacities.

• Foster collaborative relationships where power is shared and all opinions

are valued.

• Cultivate the talents and strengths of your team allowing them to give

their best towards something meaningful.

• Recognize and appreciate employees for their contributions to the whole

and for their individual accomplishments.

• Share relevant information freely.

• Trust your team and believe in their ability to provide extraordinary

performance.

Are there exceptions to these principles? Probably, but if you manage for

the exceptions i.e. trying to avoid what you don't want you will miss the

opportunity to get what you want. You will alienate your staff, have gossip,

resistance and experience huge frustration.

If, on the other hand, you shift your way of thinking to some version of,

"My employees are awesome people with extraordinary potential," and you

operate consistent with that belief, you will be amazed at the results they

achieve. And, if by some small chance you come across a "problem child"

employee, rather than react like a bad parent, you will be armed with the

capacity to transform them into a contributing member of the team. Now

that's a great manager!