Several months ago I had a bad experience at a hair salon and, although the stylist and the owner could both tell I was unhappy, like most women in that situation I didn't complain. I just never went back.

I ran into the owner at a networking group luncheon and she sat next to me. It's obvious I need a haircut and she asked me when I was going to come back. Oh boy.

I like this woman and felt it was important for me to tell her the truth. Gently.

It didn't go well.

As an old boss told me "Nobody wants to hear their baby's ugly." But as business owners we should actually be thankful when a customer cares about us enough to share their opinion. There are lots of reasons customers don't complain ranging from not wanting to create some sort of scene to not wanting to come across as a customer-from-hell. But as business owners a big part of our job should be creating an environment where customers feel they can tell us how we disappointed them so we can fix the situation and so we don't upset future customers.

Here are some things to help you build a culture that encourages straight talk from your customers:

Be visible. People can't talk to you if they don't know who you are or who to talk to. Whether you've got a form on your website, a toll free phone number, or post your email address you've got to make it easy for people to share their thoughts with you.

Develop relationships. Whether your staff are the ones that directly face the customers or you're actively involved with them customers need to feel as though someone actually cares about their experiences. Yes it's time consuming and costly but retaining customers is actually cheaper than finding new ones all the time.

Be empathetic. I could tell the salon owner wanted to defend her stylist - and that's nice. But as the customer I deserved at least some recognition that I hadn't had a good experience with her. It really is possible to acknowledge the customer's feelings, communicate you're sorry they had a bad experience, and be appreciative of them sharing their feelings while supporting your team member.

Control your emotions. It was all over the owner's face that she wasn't happy I was telling her how I felt. I could read irritation and hurt on her face and hear anger in her voice. This is a tough situation and I know some day it will happen to me as a business owner. Sometimes taking notes or repeating what was said to make sure you understand can help you compose yourself as you also process the information. And if you're responding in an email take extra care to choose your words wisely.

Reach out. Customers are busy people too. They may not have time to give a full answer to your questions about the service they received or they may not have the words to describe their feelings at the time. Develop some way to reach out to them whether it's through a simple paper survey, an email, or a call. Yes, that's time consuming and an added cost when we're all trying to control expenses. But it could give you the opportunity to win over an unhappy customer who just wanted to be heard.

Businesses often devote a good part of their marketing budget towards acquiring new customers. But the biggest profitability comes through repeat business from current customers. Often a customer on the fence merely wants to know they're important and that their concerns were heard.

Companies that invest in relationship development and customer retention activities can lower their customer acquisition costs and raise their profit margins. Two things businesses of every size should be concerned about.

As business owners it's important to do the internal work needed to help yourself hear negative information about your business and recognize it as a great opportunity to improve. As you grow it's also important to create a culture where your team feels safe to tell you things they see that could be improved as well.