Coping with Anger

It is extremely difficult to play well when you are angry. I know we have all hit a peach of a drive that was loaded with anger after 3 putting the last green but if you're honest that's the exception rather than the rule. If things go wrong on the course for you, you can't loose it because you will jeopardise the whole round. The following exercise is designed to help you tap into a more positive reaction when the red mist rises. We'll be incorporating the idea that your mind works though habitual behaviours*, as discussed in other articles. So we will train it through repetition, how to handle anger. Only now you will be using an accelerated learning technique and reducing the time it takes to make the change by 80%. It's time to change the anchor* from one that sets you off - to one that calms you down.

Exercise:

Sit down and use your peripheral vision to induce calmness and relaxation.

Recall a typical round and count how many times you clearly reacted with anger

Make a pact with yourself to reduce that number by one the next time you play.

Now watch a movie of yourself in one of those moments of anger and make sure that you see it in black and white.

Once you have played the movie, get a picture and feeling inside of someone you admire. A person who's opinion really matters to you. Someone you truly respect.

Now, imagine YOU are this person you admire. Act as if you are in their skin watching the movie of you on the course loosing it.

While watching the movie and feeling like this person you admire, what are they thinking of you as a person who explodes in anger and over reacts to what, after all, is just a game? Take your time; try to fully engage with what you believe this person would think of what they are seeing.

Now, with this sense of the person you respect, how do you feel about the way you handle yourself on the course?

With this new understanding, ask the person you admire, "how would you like to see me respond?" Wait for their answer and seriously take note of it

Now step back into your own body in the movie and while watching the movie of your old self reacting with anger and imagine exactly how you want to respond in every future situation on the course that might cause you anger. Use the insight provided by the person you admire and respect.

Get fully associated into these desired feelings. Fill your sense with this new feeling of being completely resourceful. See the new you in full glorious" Technicolor".

Run the movie from just before the anger reaction and relive it with this new feeling. Repeat the movie. Be fully associated with this new, calm confident you.

When the feeling are at their peak, anchor them so you can recall the feelings of control on the course at will.

Spend the time necessary applying and repeating this exercise and your new habit will enter your game as effortlessly as downing your first pint at the 19th.

Enjoy your Round!

Brian

*These concepts are explained in the Inner Golf Coach Audio Programme