Everyone has their own definition of a perfect relationship. For some honesty, respect and trust are the most important elements of a healthy relationship.

For others, sexual attraction and fascination are trivial for their relationship. Some will define a perfect relationship as a strong friendship in which both partners are independent and free to express their needs and desires.

”Happily ever after is not a fairy tale- it’s a choice.”-Fawn Weaver

Dating and relationship advice

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person–Mignon McLaughlin

Depending on every individual’s personal needs, desires, and self-understanding, the definition of a perfect relationship varies. However, if you ask any older couple that has been together for decades, they will always emphasise the same values that are essential for a long and healthy relationship.

The values that represent the foundation of a strong relationship

HONESTY

Honesty doesn’t always pay, but dishonesty always costs. ~Michael Josephson

When couples are completely honest with each other about their needs, desires, actions, and expectations they will form a partnership based on trust and mutual understanding. The long term benefit of honesty is tremendous. Doing what you said you will do and only promise your partner the things you know you can achieve should be the foundation of any relationship. This way, your partner will trust that when he faces a difficult situation, you will be there for him.

TRUST

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. –Friedrich Nietzsche

Most people think that trust is the belief that your partner won’t betray you or won’t act in a way to harm your relationship. But trust is so much more than that. Trust means believing in each other, in your abilities, in your dreams and hopes. Trust means knowing that you will be there for each other every step of the way and that together you can achieve anything. Trust is knowing that you understand and support each other, that you will overcome together any obstacle life throws at you, that you are a team no matter what!

RESPECT

If we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die.-Maya Angelou

I cannot emphasise enough the importance of mutual respect. Respect each other every step of the way. Life has its ups and downs and there will be times when you and your partner have disagreements. Learn how to listen to your partner’s perspective without trying to criticise or put him down. Support each other even when you disagree and try to work things out between yourselves. There are things that should not be shared with your friends and family, learn how to respect the privacy of your relationship. If you really feel you need guidance and advice, seek help from a counsellor.

Actions that will save your relationship

EXPRESS YOUR LOVE

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. — Audrey Hepburn

I know, life can get tough! There are financial problems, stressful jobs, issues with raising the kids, and other stressful events that will get in the way of your relationship. There is a secret bond that keeps couples together: being intimate with each other- hug, kiss, hold hands, tell them ‘I love you’ and make love to each other.

SHARE

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. -Swedish Proverb

Share special moments, trust them with your heart, and tell them your inner secrets and desires. That will help deepen the bond you have. Make plans together, take an interest in each other’s hobbies and activities, try to connect and understand each other, and embrace your differences, they make you unique. Go on a date and both commit to leave the problems aside and focus solely on your relationship for the duration of your date.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Remember to enjoy every second of it! Embrace every moment and face any challenges you have to face together!

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.-Carroll Bryant

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Ioana

(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)

For counselling and coaching appointments go to the link in resource box.