In this article, I will discuss the link between self-confidence and relationships and how essential self-confidence is in building a strong and healthy relationship that lasts forever.

Remember how perfect your relationship used to be in the beginning?

But as things progressed, you found yourself fluctuating between periods of love and hate. What changed and how can you bring back those amazing feelings you once had?

Whilst love offered you a temporary reprieve from loneliness, unhappiness, and incompleteness, it is not a permanent solution to something that it is rooted deeply within yourself.

Why people feel complete when they are in love?

Your new relationship seems to satisfy your every desire and need. You feel happy and complete. Your life has meaning and your new relationship provides you with another identity, a better identity.

You feel connected to something greater than yourself through another person. The whole universe seems to make sense and you are ready to live!

Sharing the joys of life with another human being who lights up your world is the biggest joy one can experience in life. I strongly believe that every human being deserves to experience this wonderful feeling.

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”- George Sand

And yet…things change!

All these feelings are great and powerful! But soon things begin to change. Your partner fails to meet your needs, he is no longer making you experience that feeling of completeness and you begin to blame him for your unhappiness.

Most people try to replace the emptiness they feel inside by finding someone else to fill up their desire to feel whole. Because you lack self-confidence, you become insecure and expect your partner to give you self-worth.

This is when the relationship starts to deteriorate. Your partner feels under a lot of pressure and is not able to keep up with your needs.

No one on this Earth is responsible for making you feel worthy and loved; this task is for you to complete. And now let’s discuss how you can achieve this!

”Like any other addiction to alcohol, food or drugs, relationships can bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you’’. The power of Now- Eckhart Tolle

The solution: Improve your self-confidence

When you achieve self-confidence and you start loving yourself, you will stop centring the love on someone else outside you and find it within yourself. You will find love, joy, and peace within yourself.

Your relationship will drastically change for the better as you don’t need your partner anymore to fulfil your needs. You are in control of your life and destiny and you can connect to something greater through your inner self.

Once you stop judging yourself and accept yourself completely for who you really are, you will accept your partner for who he really is.

As many might believe, love is not two incomplete souls coming together to form a whole; love is two whole souls coming together to share their complete and amazing lives.

“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”–Rumi

How do you improve your self-confidence?

Well, let’s start by loving yourself. You might think that this is a selfish act, but let me assure you that it is not. By prioritising your dreams and desires you will soon start to feel complete and loving and you will have so much more to give to others once you feel that your life is wonderful.

Feed your soul! Meditate, exercise, read, and spend a great deal of your time by doing the things that nourish your soul. Spend time with the people that light you up, which make you feel the best version of yourself by providing their love and support.

Learn how to say no to anything that doesn’t benefit you and is not adding value to your life, dreams, and values.

Try new things! It is never too late to follow your dreams, to try new things and engage in the activities that you always wanted to

Trust your intuition! Trust that feeling inside you that tells you that something is wrong. Anxiety, depression, and sadness are just signals from your inner self trying to tell you that something needs changing! Let them guide you towards a better life, but don’t let them bring you down; don’t let them take over your body. Remember, you are in control!

Forgive yourself! You need to clear your mind of all the negative feelings to make space for all the positive feelings that are going to blossom inside you! Feeling guilty about past mistakes won’t bring any benefit to your present and future self. You need to accept the mistakes you made and think about what lesson they thought you! And then move on!

Dare to believe! Believe in yourself. Believe that you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to. Believe in your dreams and follow them with your heart.

The long benefit of self-confidence in your relationship

Think about it! Who wouldn’t like to be around someone who emanates happiness, joy, love, and positivity?

When you will feel at peace with yourself and truly love yourself, you will become like a magnet for other people.

When you stop all the negativity, all the feelings of unworthiness, all the self-doubt and worries, you will become abundant in all aspects of your life. You will be courageous, authentic, and grateful.

You will take your relationship to an extent you never thought is possible. You will not need your partner to fill up your emptiness as you will become a whole. And you will wonder why you waited for so long to be who you were always meant to be!

“She always thought she needed someone to love when all she really needed to do was love the world and let love find her in its time and in its way.”– Kate McGahan

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Ioana,

(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)

For counselling and coaching appointments check the resource box.