Get up... take the kids to school... Starbucks venti skinny vanilla latte triple shot... go to work... first bite to eat at Noon... five-thirty... pick up kids... McDonald's fly by... drop one off at soccer practice... drop one off at football... back to pick up first from soccer... pick up second from football... home by 8:30... help kids with homework... snack... tuck kids in bed... collapse... oh - and who was that strange man in my bed I call my husband?

Sound familiar?

Today's society places great importance on how involved our kids are in sports and activities. Our children are so overscheduled now that families are completely torn apart. Mom is on one side of town watching one kid's game while Dad is at the other's. And if you have three, forget it! Fast food is the norm and the parents and kids are exhausted and disconnected.

Reasoning for such aggressive schedules is typically quite honorable, "I want my children to have the opportunities I didn't have."... "Sports teach discipline, hard work, and team work."... "They make great friends through their activities, friends they'll have for life." These are statements from parents who love their children and truly want the best for them. However, what is often overlooked is that the downside of heavy involvement in sports and other extracurricular activities may greatly outweigh the upside. Parents know they're tired, they know the kids are cranky, they know their marriage is lifeless, but due to today's societal pressures it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment to even consider cutting back on this crazy lifestyle and deprive their children. Friends will look down upon them and the children surely won't do as well as their peers who have spent countless hours on the soccer field and even more going through drive-thru's.

It has gotten so out of hand that one news reporter didn't even catch the hypocrisy when he said in one breath that "obesity in children is at an all time high" and then stated, "Sports involvement is also at an all time high which is a great way to battle the obesity epidemic." Is it too far of a stretch to believe that maybe one is actually responsible for the other? If we know that 80% of health is related to eating habits, and these kids' eating habits border on horrific, then wouldn't it be a logical conclusion that this crazy lifestyle may actually be causing obesity in kids? It's certainly something to consider.

But even beyond the obesity debate, there's the problem of the disconnected family. Most children today live in some sort of a split-parenting lifestyle due to the extremely high rate of divorce. So these kids are being shuffled from house to house and then shuffled even more when they are at those houses. The new definition of "family" is fuzzy at best and we exacerbate this when we split up the newly blended family (2nd or 3rd marriage) with everyone going in different directions.

While the kids have structure they have little down time just to be a kid and develop their wonderful ability to be imaginative. When they're not scheduled for something they often don't know what to do. The have little sense of family and what is truly important in life (family, love, relationships) as winning a game can be more important than visiting with grandparents not seen for six months. And they are learning that what should be the most important relationship in the family (between Mom and Dad) comes last on the list of priorities. And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high! On top of all that, how close can a parent really be with their child when they are watching them, not engaged with them. When there is no time to have deep conversations, they won't happen.

So it's pretty easy to see how these activities can literally pull a family apart and drive us away from what is most important. Family time, having a close relationship with our spouse and children, and experiencing life to its fullest. These are typically the items at the top of everyone's priority list but wind up falling to the bottom in the soccer mom's reality lifestyle. That's where the Anti-Soccer Mom can make a difference...

Take Back Control

All the chaos is not good for anyone in the family. With everyone going in different directions, it's impossible to live in accordance with your values. So you need to take back control. While it may not be easy at first, you need to cut back the kids' schedule. Likely they will be resistant, just be sure to explain to them why. When they begin to understand that you are doing this because you love them and actually want to be around them, you may be surprised what a positive impact that can make. Typically these kids are feeling pretty neglected and misunderstood anyway, but just don't know it. By slowing life down a little they will be getting the type of attention they have been missing dearly.

Once you've cut back on their schedule, then you need to fill the time with activities in line with your values. Here's a bullet list from the Anti-Soccer Mom:

~ Rearrange your life in order to have sit-down meals together.

~ Invest in some family board games like Cranium and make sure to carve out the time to play them.

~ Purchase a subscription to the USA Today, skim it, and debate current world topics at the dinner table. Make sure no opinion is "right", rather discuss values and ethics as it pertains to the subject.

~ Turn off the TV.

~ Play together - there's nothing better than heading to a park and tossing a football around.

~ Illustrate how to have a great marriage by living it.

~ Show them how to take care of their bodies by taking care of your own.

It's what we do every day that teaches our children how to live and love. Make sure your actions and messages are congruent with what you believe and want to teach.

And don't be afraid to be the Anti-Soccer Mom on your block. You might be surprised that they likely will envy your new and wonderful lifestyle.