Networking is an integral part of today’s business and personal world. Everyone agrees that networking is a must to grow a business. Yet many people have challenges on how to effectively use and integrate connections in their business.

The most important aspect of networking is your first impression. Are you prepared to walk the room? Do you know when and how to start and end conversations? Do you have the right follow-up plan to solidify your connections?

Shyness is a problem with many attendees. The fear of your own shyness can be debilitating. You can overcome your shyness by following a clear step-by-step plan.

I have always been a shy person. When I started attending events in New York I had two major challenges. First, I was shy; I didn’t know how to approach people; and second, my English was not fluent; even when people started speaking with me I had trouble understanding what they said. It was not an ideal way to communicate effectively.

At first I used to stay in a corner, waiting for people to come to me. But after a while, I noticed other shy people who were alone. I decided to speak with them because they seemed to be more like me. Our combined shyness turned out to be an asset to connect with each other and build confidence, instead of using our shyness as an excuse or a hinderence.

Turn your negatives into positives.

I usually started a conversation with another shy person like this: "Hi, is it your first time in this group?" or "Hi, I like your dress or jacket"; anything that could help me to start the conversation. Then if the person was open to speak, I would follow the conversation and at some point we would speak about our businesses. I don't jump into business right away. My strategy is to establish a connection about something other than business and tie it into our businesses later in the conversation.

After finally getting my feet wet with one person I fell into another shyness trap: sticking to the same person for too long. Since it was so difficult for me to start speaking with one person, I would tend to never leave his or her side for fear of having to deal with my shyness once again. This defeats the purpose of a networking event, which is to connect with promote your service or product to many people in a short period of time.

You should spend no more then five to ten minutes per conservation by following my step-by-step networking playbook. Introduce yourself and let them introduce themselves. Talk about your business and leave an opportunity to follow-up with them later and then close the conversation and let them go to meet other people.

If you are shy do not try to break up a group of people. You will be setting yourself up for failure, which will feed your shyness bug. Remember to look for other people who are alone and approach them. Start with a casual conversation: ask them if it is their first time in this group, if they know anybody in the room, if they already got clients or referrals from this group and then ask about their business.

Networking is about listening. It is much more important to listen to what people have to say and try to help them and solve their problem, than to tell your story. Being shy is an advantage because you take more care to observe the room before jumping in and because you are a good listener. People love to talk and their favorite things to talk about are things they are proud of. What makes you an ideal contact is the fact that you will listen to ideas and descriptions of businesses that make sense and you will remember them the next time you meet.

Extroverts can have a tendency to jump from person to person while giving their own few minutes of speech and moving on. Instead of caring about what the other person has to say, they deliver their own spiel and don't even give the potential contact the time to deliver his or her elevator speech. This person will be remembered as pushy, uncaring, flaky; or they won't be remembered at all! Not the best approach.

Abbreviated Step-by-Step Playbook:

1. Get comfortable being alone while taking in the sights and sounds of the room for the first 5 minutes;

2. Pick out 2-3 shy looking people in the room that you will network with;

3. Begin your conversations with your prepared or ad-lib a line about a specific characteristic of the person or something/someone interesting within sight;

4. Introduce yourself and let them introduce themselves;

5. Give a brief description of your business, but not too much! You want to keep them interested in learning more;

6. Exchange your contact information and be sure to get their information;

7. On the back of their business card write down three key elements: 1. The date and time you met, 2. categorize their urgency in your business needs, 3. jot down something that struck you about the person's business that you will remember them by;

8. Close the conversation and let them go meet other people. Now go talk to someone else before the shyness bug bites you again!

Use your shyness as challenge to connect meaningfully with more people, to make a better impression and to become a good listener.

After all, networking is all about them and not about you. Follow-up effectively and you will have plenty of opportunities later to introduce your business. You will be remembered as a go-to person and a listener. And we all know that listeners are great problem solvers!

Stop wasting your time attending every event and start growing your business with effective networking strategies. My clients call me "The Connection Queen", because they grew their businesses by 30% in less than 3 months using my strategies. Would You Like To Know How?

Click-here to discover my strategies

(c) 2009 Biba F. Pédron