One of the twelve major causes of conflict is conflict between personalities. In this article I’ll briefly explain the four major personality types and reveal where the natural areas of disagreement are and give you some practical quick tips to reduce the natural friction that exists between the personality types.

When a personality difference is the cause of the conflict, there is no real issue at stake, rather the parties "just don’t get along" because they have different personalities and those personalities are in conflict. While many conflicts are caused by something someone does, this type of conflict is caused by who the person is, not what they do.

Because the conflict is about the personalities, not a particular issue, the conflict will seem to follow the people around and will bloom in many different situations where it doesn’t seem like there should be any problem.

Four General Types of Personalities

People can be broken down into four general personality types: The "Controller" who is primarily interested in getting things done, the "Influencer" who is primarily interested in people and fun, the "Analyzer" who is primarily interested in organizing things, and the "Supporter" who is primarily interested in avoiding making mistakes and conflict.

In reality people are more complex than these four general categories and most people are a combination of more than just one type, but the types provide a useful way to understand people.

While conflict is possible between any of the types, there are three major natural conflict lines:

Controller and Controller

In addition to wanting to get things done, the controller has the tendency to make quick decisions and not question the decision after it has been made. This predisposition gives the impression that they think they are always right. Because of this, putting more than one controller together in a group many cause conflict because each one wants to be the decision maker and believes that his or her choices are the right answer. Unless the Controllers are well-behaved, a conflict based upon competition for supremacy can follow.

Controller and Supporter

Because the controller has no problem making decisions even if they don’t have enough information, this puts them in natural conflict with the Supporter whose natural tendency is to not make a decision for fear of being wrong. Supporters will go to great lengths to avoid conflict while the Controller is unfazed by confrontation. In many interactions the Controller can become frustrated by the Supporters lack of decisiveness and the Supporter will see the Controller as being too pushy. Because the Supporter wants to avoid conflict, rarely will this type of conflict break into the open. Rather it will tend to be suppressed and the Controller may be completely unaware that it exists.

Influencer and Analyzer

The influencer is primarily interested in people and fun and has a very low task orientation. This low task orientation means that the Influencer has little interest in details while the Analyzer is driven by details, lists, and tasks. The Analyzer will become frustrated because the Influencer never seems to be organized or get anything done. The Influencer will be annoyed because the Analyzer never wants to talk or socialize and only seems to be interested in data.

Resolving Personality Conflicts

Here is a three-step process that will help you to quickly resolve personality conflicts:

1.Understand your own personality type and what your tendencies are. One way to do this is to use a validated DISC profile personality test from a reputable vendor.

2.Learn to quickly find ot the personalities of other people. As you learn more about the personality types, you will easily be able to spot them in the people you interact with. Once a company that I worked with had everyone post their personality type on their cubical or office door so that co-workers knew how best to work with them.

3.Adapt yourself to the other person. Always take responsibility for your interactions with other people and you will find that conflict can be dissolved before it ever starts. If you are waiting for the other person to adapt to you, they many never do it because they don’t have the personality insights that you have.

By following these three steps you can quickly become a master at avoiding and resolving personality conflicts wherever you go.

To learn more about conflict resolution, download my free 10-Day Conflict Resolution Email Series at Conflict Resolution Tools.

(This article copyright 2010 and may be used with full credit given to author.)