When I conduct my live two-day seminar, one of the biggest challenges is to provide quality conflict management training without having real conflict to practice with. Indeed, if we had real conflict erupting, it would too late for training!

Based upon my years of experience conducting live and online training events, you should choose conflict management training that includes these five effective strategies:

Develop and teach frameworks that are scenario independent.

Frameworks are sets of rules and procedures that can be applied to achieve an outcome independent of the particular circumstances of the problem. For example, I teach a three-step process for responding to objections and criticism in a consistent manner no matter how stressful the situation.

Being able to rely on this framework frees my students from having to "think on their feet." All they have to do is follow the rules and they can be assured that not only will conflict be dissolved, but they will also have an excellent chance of having the other person adopt their position and think that it was their idea.

Use zero sum games to create artificial conflict.

A zero sum game forces competition (and some level of conflict) because it can only be won at the expense of the other players. With a little creative encouragement from the trainer, the win/lose nature of these games can get the passions flowing and to some extent simulate the feeling of conflict.

In games such as The Red Black game, Prisoners Dilemma, and Win as Much As You Can, you will find some participants play very aggressively to "win" even though they know it’s just a game, while others are more passive and really don’t care whether they win or not. For a trainer, getting people to reflect on their behaviors while playing these games can teach valuable lessons about how people tend to react during real conflict.

Teach universal skills and apply them to conflict management.

Universal interpersonal skills such as effective communication techniques, empathetic listening, questioning, and reading body language are useful in conflict management training because they are crucial to successful conflict resolution but don’t require conflict scenarios to teach them.

I teach empathetic listening in almost all of my management seminars because it is a critical skill for interacting with people whether you need have others adopt your ideas, or you are involved in a conflict where apparently irrational behaviors are being exhibited. Excellent results can be achieved by teaching the skill and then showing how to apply it to conflict management.

Illustrate using real world examples and stories.

Because we don’t have "real" conflict in a training situation, stories about real conflicts and their resolutions can be useful conflict management training tools.

One of my favorite stories is about a company that hired me to come to their corporate retreat, meet with three warring groups, and come up with a solution. Within two hours I had used venting and listening techniques to have all of the groups realize that they were really in agreement, they were just using different words to describe what they wanted. I tell the story in much more detail and it helps my students to realize the power of these methods and that sometimes solutions to apparently complex problems can be quite simple.

Does NOT use role-playing.

In my experience, role-playing is totally ineffective in conflict management training and there are two reasons. The first is that students resist it because they don’t like doing it. The second reason is unless you are a trained actor, it is almost impossible to accurately play a role that you have not already experienced yourself.

A better solution is to teach a principle, skill, technique, or framework and have the participants apply it to real life challenges that they face. As they discuss their problems and solutions with the guidance of the instructor, the others in the room will get real-life examples and lessons that they can apply to their own challenges.

By using these five guidelines, you can create and conduct effective conflict management training classes that will provide long-term benefits to all who attend.

To learn more about conflict resolution, download my free 10-Day Conflict Resolution Email Series at Conflict Resolution Tools.

(This article copyright 2010 and may be used with full credit given to author.)