- Author Iacob Madalin Adrian
- Published October 27, 2011
- Word count 1,262
Forgiveness is surrounded by four misconceptions, false impressions that you like the man in place for long and many people fail to forgive because of them. These misconceptions are:
Denial / Forgetfulness - Sometimes, time does not fully heal painful memories. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring the suffering or evil that they have suffered. You cannot deny reality.
Apology - forgiveness does not mean to ignore someone. I still think he / she is responsible for what you did and rightly so.
Compensation - Forgiveness not excuses. Do not ask for validation of your suffering or any other form of compensation. It is unconditional and personal. You could wait a lifetime compensation and not get before.
Condemnation - Forgiveness has nothing to do with guilt, adopting a position morally superior. These attitudes show that you think you're right and you will keep in place.
You will remain a victim if not avoid these four misconceptions. They make you impotent. Do not allow the suffering of the past to become a permanent torment of your life. In order to remember this, remember this statement: "I forgive you because I've paid enough. Now I'm ready to go on."
How to forgive me:
We are all human and all make mistakes to be forgiven. Forgiving love on me choose trial instead. It is a good choice I think this way, send the message that is more important to me than to see my life in an emotional prison remain self-condemnation.
Everything we do can be forgiven, no matter how reprehensible I think it is. Just give me the olive branch of compassion and choose to love me. We're so adamant with ourselves and sometimes set some moral standards so high that it is not surprising that we suffer.
Forgiving myself I have to accept my shares, to assume full responsibility for my actions or inaction, to confront the situation head up, without apology or denial. You have to purify my memories, allow me to be sensitive to release any pain that I have.
I could confide, because this is one of the most efficient methods for unloading heavy burdens. I think it could work ... confess to me or someone close to God, saying what I did. Nothing I did, no deep sense of shame, I cannot separate from God, but I would approach and for this he must know my remorse and regret. You have to restore my relationship with God.
You have to give up self-flagellation that has no point in continuing to punish me, even if I feel I deserve to be condemned. But if you remain a victim, it will adversely affect the relationship I have with myself and others.
You have to make some changes, my sincere apologies, to be rational and have the best intentions, without any expectations about the outcome.
Mistakes are wont to recur if your eyes wide open ... I think that all experiences in life are meant to teach us something, and if wearing blinders, we lose the lesson and its significance for our lives.
Most times I find it easier to forgive others than to forgive me. I'm sure some of it comes natural to me, in that they are too hard on me, but I think it's time to learn to forgive, to travel through life easily, without getting burdened with guilt, because it is the most important gift that I can give myself and those I love.
How to forgive others:
Just my mind because it is essential to first take the decision that I want to forgive the one who hurt me, and this is a brave choice, heroic.
I have to take responsibility because no one else can heal me but me. Lack of forgiveness I can drain energy and I can even get sick because of anger and resentment detention.
I have to face the suffering, noting my opinions about my suffering about him, the one I want to forgive. I have to confront and acknowledge my suffering. I could talk to someone about this man to validate my pain, a friend, someone close, because when you get compassion and understanding, you can heal faster.
You must be willing to discover a new perspective on the man who upset me. That does not mean I forgive him or her excuses. Idea is that people hurt others because they themselves were injured, so you should act because of my suffering . I ask myself: what childhood I had? How was your life when the incident occurred?
I have to recognize the role that I had him in that incident . That will help me not be a victim and I take responsibility. Forgive me for the role I played. Maybe I had my share of guilt.
Must, learn from suffering, to prevent recurrence of this incident in future.
When you are ready, I could write a letter for her. You do not have to submit it only to write. To express my thoughts clearly and honestly, starting with the anger I feel now, today, this time for her. As I write them hurt me angry, allow me to fully express my feelings and my .. thus passing through the stages of grief, fear, regret and desire to forgive. Here you can find emotional loop end .. I could use the letter in a symbolic way to end the cycle of forgiveness.
You have to give up the expectations I have of her, because forgiveness is because forgiveness is possible not lead to reconciliation. It is desirable but not a must ... Forgiveness does not depend on repentance from those women who hurt me, because for reconciliation, both I and it must be both committed. I could choose not to tell him that I forgave her, to avoid a meeting between four eyes. Yes, anyway, my forgiveness for her must come from love and not of suffering.
I have to think about forgiveness not only as a fact, but as a lifestyle. It must practice to be able to forgive, to feel freer and healthier. I would like to keep my energy for life than to waste the resentment and pain.
You must try to be grateful. I could ask God to help me I can forgive, heal and forgive because He is with kindness and deep interest in my state well.
Here are four reasons to forgive:
To heal my body: eliminate toxic thoughts and anger.
To heal my heart: give up thoughts of revenge or feelings of ill will and to love unconditionally inception.
To heal my relationships: exploring the potential for reconciliation and re-connect with her / him.
To heal my life: suffering would not be my definition.
You must do what is necessary for all this to happen, because it is our chance to evolve and heal. Life gives us enough challenges without having to have to also add we others. You can switch the button on guilt, worry and resentment once you become aware of their presence. To prevents the occurrence of that downward spiral, you should choose to eliminate energy vampires and life will become easier and more beautiful.
If we struggle with perfectionism, he must challenge every day is imperfect. You have to find any updates you need in childhood coming true as our awareness of this need using it as adults we are today.
The path of forgiveness is the best way to travel through life without being burdened. Often, the only way to unlock your past.
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness to be free to live the life you really want!
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