Happy Campers

How To Find a Good Summer Fit for the Kids

The camp looked perfect in the brochure and on the DVD its representative brought to Jackie D’s Stamford home. There was a lake, log cabins, family-style dining, a well-trained staff and lots to do.

"I believe summer camp should be rustic and kids should swim in lakes and sleep in cabins and eat family style," the mother says. "I don’t think camp should be pretentious or too fancy. So I loved everything about the camp I was seeing."

Later that summer, after a few tearful calls home from her then 10 year-old son, Matthew, she was no longer sure.

"We thought it was the right camp. But everything about it turned out to the wrong for our son." says Jackie, who asked that her full name not be used to protect her son, who had "a summer that is best described as OK." "Not miserable, but not the fun one we had planned."

This summer her son, a sports loving boy who prefers being close to home, will enroll in a competitive sports program, spending his summer with friends and older siblings he adores.

Choosing camps, which many families do this time of year, can sometimes be as complicated as settling on the right college. Experts and parents say it involves understanding your child, his temperament and interests, while giving him an opportunity to grow.

It’s not a given, for example, that a shy child will be miserable at sleep-away camp or your gregarious oldest will thrive after weeks spent in a bunk. A sports or arts related camp may be a great fit for children with strong interests in those areas, but some experts suggest they also can be too limiting for some.

Day camps? Overnights? There are so many things to consider.

"Paramount over everything else is that the place is safe, comfortable and has some real standards that you can verify," says Gary Bloom, director of New Canaan-based Camp Playland, a day camp founded by his father in 1957. He says every parent’s first step should be to make sure the camp is licensed or accredited, noting in Connecticut for example, "the state licensing standards are tough and surprise inspections are a regular thing."

After establishing a basic level of quality and safety, Bloom says, "You need to be asking lots of questions about the counseling staff. You need to know how long they’ve been around. Are the counselors all teenagers or are there some grown-ups around? And then you need to know what the typical day is like."

Then there is the matter of the camp itself, says Bloom. "So ask what is its philosophy? How is it structured? How much time do the kids have to themselves? How much is supervised? All of this matters and it can vary in how it matters from kid to kid."

Indeed, the camp experience involves a host of variables. "Last year, I sent my son off to day camp with two of his best buddies, says Lynn S., a Westport mother of two. "One of his friends was miserable. One loved it and my guy was kind of in between." The child who liked it best "was the most adaptable and made a bunch of new friends." The child who hated it, "complained a lot because they swam a lot and he doesn’t swim well." Her son, "said he was happy except for when it rained because there wasn’t much to do and he loved all the activities they did when it wasn’t raining. Unfortunately, the four weeks he went, it rained a lot."

Geoff Alswanger, director of the Long Ridge Camp in Stamford, says the best all-purpose day camps will offer a "wealth of activities with a balance of structured and unstructured time." And, "there will be a lot of things to do when it rains. Because rain happens."

If your child has a passion, say, for soccer or the creative arts, Alswanger suggests indulging those interests based on their age. "If you are in your early elementary years, a summer of one sport may be too much. While there may be no harm in starting early, you can burn out your kids. A week or two (of a special interest camp) is great; but try to mix it up with a camp that will give them a chance to experiment with new activities and make new friends." Once a child get to her preteen years, "If sports is the direction they are going in, if it is their goal is to do this on a high school level, I say go for it, bearing in mind they may need a few weeks break at some point in the summer."

Do not presume because your child has not expressed an interest in something that he won’t participate in camp.

"We have parents tell us all the time, my kid hates to swim, or my kid hates this sport or that," says Dov Shapiro, a director and co-owner of Camp Chateaugay, an overnight summer camp in the New York Adirondacks that draws from Fairfield and Westchester counties. "Then, they come here and for some reason it clicks. I tell parents that they need to be open to the idea that their kids may surprise them."

Shapiro suggests parents ask probing questions about the camp’s overall philosophy. His camp, he says, is devoted to a rustic experience that might not appeal to a city kid, "although we have a busload come from New York City every summer wanting this, so there are no absolutes."

Still, he says, camps have a "feel and an aura and you need to understand if that’s a good fit for your kids. So I would ask things like, "Would you describe the camp as fast-paced or slow-paced? How about the atmosphere? Are there more city kids than suburban kids? What are the camp traditions? Tell me about the demographics of the camp." You want to create a picture in your mind that you won’t get from the best DVD."

Still, even when parents approach the process with lots of diligence there are kids who struggle, and camp executives say there are some ways to spot those children ahead of time.

Bloom says he would caution parents of "the child who hates the water" to ask a lot of questions if swimming in a lake or pool is a daily part of the camp experience. "I’ve seen camp be awful for the kid who hates water."

At overnight or day camp, Shapiro says, "I worry about a child who has already had experience being bullied. They tend to be kids who, for a variety of reasons, don’t respond well to normal social cues. Bullying is something that does happen, especially when you have kids bunk together." He cautions parents to ask detailed questions about how camps deal with bullying "including how they define it." His camp has an expert on staff who is paid to counsel campers and counselors on spotting and preventing bullying.

Shapiro says he has children come to overnight camp as young as 6, but says parents considering such experiences for their children should let them give it a try by age 9. "If you push it to the preteen years, then you are often sending your children into a situation where they are put in a group of established friends and it can be hard to integrate."

Most children are ready for some kind of day camp experience by first grade, says Alswanger, who recommends children attend for at least a few weeks (he recommends four) to get the most out of the experience. "More than anything, you want to give them a chance to get comfortable and make some new friends."

What to ask before you choose a Summer Camp for your child…

How old are your counselors? Are younger counselors paired with more experienced ones? How many of your counselors have worked here before and what are their average years of experience? If they teach a sport or skill, what are their backgrounds and training? How are they supervised?

How do you deal with bullies? What are the camp’s discipline procedures?

What is the camp’s philosophy?

Can you describe a typical day? How about a typical day when it rains?

Describe the other campers and their backgrounds?

What is the camp’s philosophy on diversity? Are the children predominately one race or religion?

How are children grouped? By sex? By age? Consider that groupings that lump together children from several grades can be problematic.

What are your emergency protocols? Describe your medical staff. And where is the nearest hospital?

How will you inform me if my child is miserable and not adjusting well? Will you let me visit the camp on a non-family day if I am worried?

How do you protect children with food allergies?

Do you have flexible hours for working parents?

Do you allow a tuition break if a family vacation conflicts with part of the camp session?

Are there other parents or campers who can answer some of my questions?

Are you approved and licensed by the state of Connecticut, the state where you are located or do you have an accreditation fro the American Camping Association?

--Sources; the American Camping Association; Gary Bloom of Camp Playland in New Canaan; Geoff Alswanger of the Long Ridge Camp; Dov Shapiro of Camp Chateaugay; as well as parents or experienced campers.