Self-comparison is one of the most common felt, not to mention dangerous, emotions. When you worry and question yourself as to whether or not you measure up, you immediately set up self-destructing roadblocks to a positive self-esteem and unhappiness.

To compare yourself with others, is indirectly questioning your own self-worth.

You are already giving in to self-destructive thoughts such as:

-I am not as pretty...

-I am not as skinny..

-I don`t have the same walk as..

-I will never be able to afford...

-I could never be as popular as...

If you were to say these things out loud or watch yourself say them in a mirror, it would not take long to hear a true lack of self-respect.

Have you ever heard that the more you tell yourself something, the more you will surely begin to believe it? Well, this is why I speak so highly of retraining your thought patterns. Whether it is positive or negative thoughts, eventually your mind will be re-trained. The key is to stay away from the negative and/or replace them with positive thoughts. The longer that you dwell on any negative thought, the more likely it will seem very true to you. When you begin to question your own value as a human being, you are blatantly abusing your own self-esteem. Why would you ever want to do that? Self-comparison involves self-worth and uniqueness to a very high degree. Have you ever been invited to a party for an old school friend? Did you dread the thought of how you will compare to people that you used to go to high school with? It's an ugly feeling isn't it? Then why not just think about seeing old friends again? Better yet, hope that many of the friends that you shared an important time of your life with will turn up, or for that matter are even still alive.

There are many ways to look at things positively. Comparing yourself to other people is certainly not a good one. You will only succeed in setting yourself up for a very big fall into a pit of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem will only cloud your own belief in yourself. It will shatter the idea of uniqueness into tiny little pieces.

If you try to value yourself through the eyes of others or through a comparison of others, you will be doing nothing but denying your own uniqueness. To know your uniqueness and self-worth is to know yourself, without hearing or seeing any other source of comparison. To allow any other influence to sway your thoughts of who you are, is totally a suicide. A suicide of your self-worth and uniqueness.

I read this statement and I would like to share it with you. It seems very fitting for this subject. Written by Doctor Wright: "Others' opinions of you are none of your business, because they don`t really know you." So I ask, why do we compare? Why do we feel the need to satisfy ourselves with this self-torture? No-one else is comparing you to someone else. If they are comparing anyone, it is themselves, just as you are, so they are of no threat to you. Nor should their view of you make any difference how you perceive you.

Your own vision of who you are is the most important step to building a positive self-esteem. Your self-esteem is a main driving factor in how you deal with life's challenges and also how you relate to others. For one to smile on his/her self-worth and know the value of their uniqueness, is to glow with a positive self-esteem. The results of a positive self-esteem, is the freedom to be truly happy. When you are truly happy, you have so much more goodness to offer your world. Happiness feels like falling in love. It is pure, untouchable, and unmovable. Happiness can even be thought of like the wind. Like the wind, you can only feel it, but not really see it. That is what a positive self-esteem does for you. It is also what a negative self-esteem can crush. A low self-esteem is like pure torture. Your stomach twists so tight that you want to rip it out. With a low self-esteem, you can shake uncontrollably and even feel your hair stand up on your head. With low self-esteem you can feel sad, and hopeless, and your brightest idea is death.

Now you choose:

Positive self-esteem =positive self-worth and uniqueness= happiness

OR

Negative self-esteem= negative self-worth and uniqueness= sadness

It does not seem like a hard choice to me. So, the next time your mind wonders off into a comparison mode, be very quick to turn it off and turn on a positive thought. You can NEVER, EVER go wrong with thinking positive.

"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has."

-Unknown

Just be happy with your own Uniqueness and do not fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others!

DorothyL