Are you stuck in the mud? Stymied by the circumstances of your life? Are you overcome with negative thoughts and feelings, mired into an ineffective, unproductive, unhappy quicksand spot? I've been there! Are your relationships affected? Your business affected? Your health? You better believe it. Somebody! Throw me a line!

Here's a starting place for you: STOP! BREATHE! LISTEN! Find a quiet spot. Relax in the tub. Retreat to your garden or your comfortable chair in your corner. Go to a motel and turn off your cell phone. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Ask yourself to stop thinking through the answer to this question: Why am I so distracted? (i.e. sad? upset? angry? depressed?) What is your heart telling you is at the root of your discomfort? There may be multiple answers that come bubbling up, but there will be some very real feelings behind those answers that need your attention.

You may be experiencing a particularly rough period in your life. There may be marital challenges, parental struggles, family discord, losing a loved one, fractured friendships, bills piling up, natural disasters and unnatural ones as well. Life throws us curves every day. It's how we deal with these stresses and emotional pains that builds in us character, resolve, strength and compassion. I believe we are meant to learn through these periods of difficulty. We can choose how we react. We cannot help emotional reactions and feelings, but we can choose how we will process those feelings and decide every minute how will we treat the next minute we are blessed with. We must forgive if we are going to overcome.

Let's look at the three forgiving steps that will free you from the bondage of those feelings. Forgive yourself. Whatever you did, didn't do, should have done; it's the past. You cannot change it. You're human. Wipe the slate clean and start new right now! If you need to ask forgiveness, humble yourself and do so. The Bible tells us that if we do not humble ourselves, the Lord will do it for us! I would rather choose to do this than be put in position of having no choice but seeing my pride for the ugly thing it really is. Whether you need to make things right with another person or God or yourself or all of the above, make it right and start fresh. Every new moment is a moment that we can choose to do differently.

Forgive others. Whether they deserve it or not is not the issue. Whether you want them to know it or not is not the issue. You are hurting yourself by holding on to the pain. Forgive them for your sake! Holding onto that anger, pain, injustice, resentment, vengefulness, hate, hurts, and righteous indignation may fuel something in you, but it will only affect you. Chances are the feelings you are experiencing are hurting you far more than they are hurting the other person. While your thoughts are distracted and your stomach is churning and you are going without sleep, the other party is going on their merry way unaffected. Let it go! Let it go for your sake, not theirs. Let your mind clear, your body relax, let rest come and concentrate instead on making your minutes count in your life.

Forgive your humanity. We are not perfect! We will all make mistakes, some worse than others. We will continue to make mistakes. Reckon that as part of being human. Deal with them as they come. Let it go! That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. If we can just grasp how small in light of the universe and eternity such mistakes are, we might gain some perspective. I remind my husband, a workaholic, constantly that the world will not end if he doesn't get the car washed. Sometimes I have to take a dose of my own medicine when I'm equally upset about not getting my emails done!

This process done daily, weekly, monthly - whatever you need to do, will change your life. It will free you to go on about your day with a new attitude, a clean slate and open to the possibility of change. It has improved my health, my business and my relationships. Forgiveness is healing. Forgiveness is real power. Forgiveness is grace. Forgiveness is divine.