I’ve put up with it as long as I can, as long as my nerves will let me. You see, I have a problem, and It may not seem like a huge problem to you, but it’s slowly ruining my life. I’ll start from the beginning.

One afternoon, I came home from work, my kids greeted me at the door, and I could smell the delicious dinner that my wife, Joanne, had waiting for me. It seemed like a great day, just like every other day.

We sat down to dinner shortly after I arrived home. We were all sharing stories about our days, enjoying a great chicken fried steak meal, when I heard it. The sound that would soon drive me to insanity. It was a yappy, high pitched barking coming from outside. "What is that?" I asked my family. My youngest daughter Julie gleefully answered, "Oh that’s Pixie, daddy. The Fosters’ new puppy. She is soooo cute." The barking continued through dinner, but I said nothing else.

That night, I got into bed after a hot shower and gave my wife a kiss. We said our good nights, and I let my drowsy head fall to my pillow. When my head hit the pillow, it was like flipping a switch. The barking started again. The only way I can describe it is a High pitched, ear piercing YIP YAP YIP YAP. It sounded like this dog’s tail was on fire. I hoped that this Pixie would soon get used to her new home, and stop all that yapping. I put the pillow over my head, and lay awake for several hours before I drifted off.

The alarm clock went off in what seemed like minutes after I fell asleep. Now, you have to understand, my days start very early, I work long hours, so sleep is important to me. I dragged myself out of the bed, and threw on a pair of slack, and a shirt. I was like a zombie that day. I received several, meant to be funny, comments about how I must have had a long night. It wasn’t a great day, and to top it all off, it started all over again as soon as I fell into bed that night.

Now it’s been two weeks. I’ve been sleep deprived for two weeks. During this time the Fosters have put up a dog fence, but nothing to keep Pixie from barking. This morning I handed my boss my daughters spelling test instead of the file I’ve been working on. This dog is messing with my life.

What Pixie doesn’t know, though, is that I got a present for her. On my way home from work I picked up a brand new dog training collar for her. I got the best shock collar I could find. I tied big red ribbon around it, and left it on the Fosters’ front porch.

Now, I’m lying here in my cozy bed, and what do I hear? Nothing. An electric collar… Why didn’t I think of it sooner. If you have an annoying dog keeping you up at night, I strongly recommend buying a bark collar.