I will be the first person to agree with the fact that the fear of rejection is a paralyzing and debilitating reality that grips the best of men. I won’t deny its existence like some of the self styled dating experts are prone to do. In fact, I’m going to discuss some very practical ways to fight this fear that turns guys into douche-bags at the thought of approaching women.

But first, we need to understand the hows and whys of this fear. So read on-

When man was in the hunter-gatherer phase of evolution, he faced a definite paucity of beautiful girls. The few beautiful girls there were, all wanted to have sex with the tribal leader because he was the one best equipped to provide the greatest resources and protection to their babies.

If any of the low status males wooed a beautiful, desirable female and was rejected, he would have to make do with one of the fat and ugly girls for the rest of his life, or worse, nobody. This is due to the fact that women have an evolutionarily designed switch in their heads which focuses on peer approval: The more one girl wants a guy, the more others do too, even if there is no legitimate reason for it! Low status males had to face this rejection as a regular occurrence and were deeply affected by it. In time a very real fear of rejection settled in their brains- "if this girl rejects me then I will have to remain celibate throughout my life."

Over a period of time, natural selection created a defensive trigger in the brains of these males. This is due to the fact that, those males who DID have such a paralyzing fear of rejection, tended to pass on their genes better than those men who DIDN’T, and thus became more numerous in the population. If a low status male was turned on by the sight of a beautiful female, his brain immediately switched into the fearful mode. So if the male even contemplated approaching the woman, his heart would start racing and his knees would quiver, effectively nipping his attempt in the bud. All future males were born with this trigger which we know as the fear of rejection.

Now that we know the reason for its existence, let’s go through ways to deal with this fear of rejection-

1. The first thing you have to do is realize that there is no logical reasoning for the fear of rejection in the modern world. We aren’t living in the tribal era anymore and there are hundreds of beautiful girls around for you to attract and seduce.

2. To get girls, you’ll have to go out into the real world and interact with girls. It’s not gonna happen if you just sit on your butt and worry about getting rejected. Go to the mall, the book store, the library and see with your own eyes- nature has created an abundance of beautiful women just waiting to be seduced by a guy like you.

3. If you’re well-groomed and well-dressed, and your body language is congruent with your appearance, there’s not a chance in the world that a beautiful woman will not be interested in you. Just stride in with confidence and sweep the girl off her feet.

4. Why do we feel dejected when a girl rejects us? Because we’ve placed such a massive value on her, that’s why. If you don’t place that kind of value on her, you won’t mind it if she rejects you. Big deal if one girl has rejected your APPROACH, not you (remember). She’s just a girl after all. If she rejects you, that’s her problem, not yours. There are so many beautiful girls around just like her. So cast your net into the sea and get your load of fish.

5. We fear rejection because we care about the validation of others. Once you stop assigning so much importance to people’s validation of you, you’ll find that getting rejected doesn’t hurt your ego at all.

6. And the last thing which is the most important is that when the fear of rejection grips you, just tell it to go take a walk. Remember that this fear has no relevance in your modern life and when it strikes you, just go in anyway. In time you’ll find that by just going in despite the fear, you are no longer affected by it. This blind audacity is the only effective way of banishing it forever.

So understand that to meet the most amazing women everyday and to have them desire you is a cakewalk once you have banished the fear of rejection to the farthest recesses of your mind. Forming new habits takes time, but it WILL happen with persistence, so stick at it.