Coping with a break up is easier said than done. Getting through the first few months after your relationship went sour is the hardest. That’s when you feel the worst, the angriest and experience self doubt at its highest level.

Whether your botched relationship was short and intense or long lived and casual, take heart. These are proven effective ways in coping with break up:

1. Get angry. Go ahead be indignant. Anger is a high octane but quick burning fuel. It will not sustain you for very long. Be mad as hell over your partner’s role in bringing down the final curtain.

Write a note to be mailed letter expressing your anger to your ex. You are the only one who will ever see it. No need to equivocate or to hedge or redress yourself.. Just let the anger ooze out. You will be surprise at how relieved you will feel afterwards.

2. Do not perform an autopsy. Do not dissect or examine the corpse of a dead relationship. Leave the body bags, gore and stink to the forensics. Do not employ voodoo, chain letter writing or any supernatural means to re-animate what is already dead. Any efforts to artificially prop up a relationship long gone bad will only create a zombie.

3. Renew your outside life. Once your ex is out of your life you suddenly find yourself with plenty of time on your hands. Instead of making time your enemy, use and enjoy it with activities that you have been wanting to do but was not able to, during the time you were in a relationship.

Plan a funky party and invite all your friends. Read all novels of Ernest Hemingway. Enroll in martial arts, learn Swahili if that’s your thing. Don’t just fill in your schedule I’d say CRAM IT! You may not end up an Indo-European linguist but it will get you through this ‘period’ in style, and with dignity. And you will end up a fuller, more interesting person.

Eventually you will start thinking about dating again. Although no two people move through or recover at it at the same speed. It is best to take your time in order to avoid disaster of the classical rebound relationship.

If you are tempted to lose yourself in a series of frantic affairs, just remember these liaisons offer only fleeting relief from pain of your loss and will simply leave you feeling emptier than ever.

The Leap Of faith.

Although twinges of pain may persist for awhile be grateful you’ve had the experience. Think of the way your sensitivity and emotions have expanded. As you learn to cope with your grief, you will become more compassionate and sympathetic to the pain of others. It’s important to realize that you will survive.

You learn to love yourself again and build yourself up to be all the person you ever wanted to be. All because you went through the process in coping with a break up or separation.