I get a lot of questions from people asking about…

"Why do I have to go through all of this?" "Why do I have to learn all of this?"

"Why not just be yourself?"

Ah, yeah, we have all heard that one before.

"Just be yourself and you will get the girl!"

Now the problem I have with the advice of "just be yourself" is this…

If you tell somebody who is dyslexic trying to learn how to read to just be himself and believe, although this is great inspirational fuel, it doesn’t change the fact that he is dyslexic, and he would then forever be struggling trying to learn how to read; however, give him the tools and teach him how to use it, and that will help him more than anything else.

Or if you tell a newly hired inexperienced technician to just be himself, do you thing he is automatically going to be good at his job? No, he had to go to school and have gotten the proper training first and get experience under his belt.

Now for somebody who is struggling with women all their life, and you tell him to still be himself? Then he will forever be terrible with woman, doing the same bad things over and over again that his old self has been doing that destroy his success, unless one day he luckily finds "The One" who falls into his lap like out of some magical destiny. But the chance of that is very slight, besides would you rather be in control of your dating destiny?

The exception is if you are already good with women then you can be himself, but why then search for getting women advice and go through all this painful hassle; and you wouldn’t need anybody to tell you to just be yourself because you would already know that.

And then later this statement evolved into "being your best self".

What does this mean?

How do you be your best self?

Do you just tell somebody to be "his best self" and magically he will be his best self and automatically be getting all the girls he ever dreamed of?

No, it doesn’t work like that.

To be your best self, still implies you are going have to work on changing yourself because your are not yet at your "best self".

So in the end being yourself is not they way to go, if you are not already good at something.

Remember as the saying goes, "If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result."

Or Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity:

"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."