As I reflect on my forty-four years on this Earth walk, I see a journey of the illumination of my soul in each of its developmental stages. Would I call it enlightenment? Perhaps in a definition such as " gaining of new insight and awareness", not necessarily the state of nirvana that Buddah reached (although I feel like I've had a few moments in my life that I would categorize as nirvanaish).

In my soul's infancy stage, I remember allowing God's shining wisdom to pour into me uninhibited. I can recall many times in my childhood in which Jesus and I conversed like old friends face to face. At the age of four, I remember climbing onto a huge mound of dirt in our neighborhood and sensing the presence of native people, especially women, who had long since passed. I wasn't living in darkness at that point, I was dancing in lightness and accepting Gods gift of illumination without hesitation, judgment, or apprehension.

Then the time I choose to call "the great shadow" covered my life as I approached adolescence. I became more contracted and hidden from myself. My confidence wavered and God's illumination was blocked by my lack of trust and my choice to see the world as oppositional. However, even in this dark time, there was, in the recesses of my mind, a desire to understand my soul and to seek its evolutionary journey.

Following the "great shadow stage", the void, I once again emerged from my tunnel of solitude and began seeking illumination...actually frantically chasing it like I was afraid if I didn't find it, I would be forever in the darkness. What's funny about chasing insight and enlightenment is that, in my opinion, there is no need to chase it because it doesn't run away. It is always there. For a soul to elevate to another level, it just has to unfold and pull back the curtain of faith. It could be likened to the first strike of a match that lights a candle when the power has gone out. The glow is there, even if it's faint. God's love and wisdom shines whether you choose to see it faintly or brightly.

Currently, I savor the "midday sun stage" of my illumination and ascension of my soul. I am more content to await God's direction and am comfortable in the knowing that I am worthy of being illuminated. I am now willing to listen to the radiating rays of enlightening wisdom that I am gifted. I see myself as a pulsating orb of energy that is connected to all others. I can't deny our universal oneness. I now understand that my flames of inspiration aren't just for the betterment and consciousness of my own soul, but the betterment and consciousness of all.

When I enter the next stage of illumination, I'm sure I'll be in awe of its potential. Sri Chinmoy has a wonderful line from his poem The Stories of His Lives:

With God's Face In His Heart,

and God's Heart in his eyes.

To me, this is what ultimate illumination is......to be one with God.

Take a moment today and reflect on your own journey of illumination. No matter what stage you are in, God is right there ready to bring light into your world. Be open. Be patient. Be loving. Be willing to be one with God.