People are easily drawn towards charismatic leaders who are positive and lively. This also applies to dating girls. So, let me share with you a few tips on how to be more positive.

(1) Do not compare yourself to others

From now on, stop comparing yourself to other people. If you do not stop doing this, it will be very difficult for you to feel thankful about what you already have. If you keep having thoughts about others being better off than you and feeling you should deserve more, you will become cynical and bitter over time. Instead compare yourself to yourself. Look back to see how much you have grown and how far you have progressed. Challenge yourself, but not against others. Most important, you must recognize that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths could be someone else weaknesses and vice versa. Thus, there is no need for you to compare yourself to others.

(2) Be on the lookout for something good in every person you meet

This may seem odd, but this certainly helps you to be more positive towards others. Excuse someone who is unfriendly towards you and do not have this idea that the whole world is against you. Instead of trying to change others, you should set a good example on your own. After each encounter, reflect on what you can learn from it and try to identify one or two good things about the person.

(3) Separate yourself from your sense of "fairness" or justice

Most of our resentment is due to strong sense of being unfairly treated and the world has done us wrong. In reality, the world is never fair and will never be. Here are some ways to deal with it:

(a) What is fair and unfair is very subjective because what is fair to you may not be fair to other people.

(b) You need to recognize that life is full of uncertainties and random events and learn to cope with this.

(c) Try to tolerate and forgive, not for the benefit of others, but purely for your own good because this can release the "mental torture" you exert on yourself when you harbor negative feelings against certain people.

(d) Help people when you are in the position to do so and only if you enjoy doing so, but do not expect anything in return

(e) You need to understand that no system or rules can benefit every person all the time.

(f) Try adapting to the world rather than hoping for the world to "dance to your tune".

(4) Stop blaming others or put all the blame on yourself

It is hard to be positive when there is this blame game going on. Stop blaming others and accept responsibility for your own actions. You need to accept that sometimes both parties should take responsibilities and this need not necessarily be your entire fault. If you keep blaming others for your problems, you will mostly deny yourself the chances of correcting your own mistakes or weaknesses.

(5) Instead of concentrating on the problem, ask yourself what exactly you want

If you focus on your troubles and look for solutions to solve them, you can get bogged down with weighing the pros and cons of each solution which ironically create more problems for yourself. An effective way to side-step this difficult situation is to focus on what you want. As soon as you have figured out what you wish for, construct an action plan to reach your objective. By focusing on your long-term goal, you will be able to get over the short-term pain when things get rocky.

(6) Brush up your social skills

People who are angry and bitter are likely to have difficulty in relating to others. It is therefore necessary for you to learn how to interpret body language and non verbal signals as well as improving on your own body language. When meeting people, do make eye contact and smile and be an active listener. When there is the chance, you need to give compliments. In your free time, you can participate in some volunteering activities or joining a few hobby clubs.

(7) Learn how to control your own behavior

Think about the possible outcomes your words and actions can have on others before you talked or act. Do avoid criticizing things and people in public. If you have nothing good to say about, just keep quiet. Do ensure your actions match your thinking.

(8) Go and read the biographies of successful people

When you read about how ordinary people are capable of doing the extraordinary "feats" by staying positive during tough times, you will be inspired by their success and be less negative about things and other people.