If you’ve recently broken up with your boyfriend or husband, then you’re probably thinking about your future and what it looks like without that man in your life. If you can’t see your future without him, then you may be thinking of how to get a man (in this case, your man) back.

First of all, you have to decide if you really want to get him back. When you’ve just split up, a lot of people want to stop the hurting by reconciling with their ex straight away. But sometimes the reason for the break-up makes a lot of sense and getting back together just to split up again a few weeks or months later is only prolonging the agony.

Take a good, long look at your relationship. Were you truly happy with him? Were there other problems developing besides the one that led to the break-up? Or was the reason for the break-up something that came completely out of the blue? If you’ve decided that you do want to get back together with your ex, then it’s important that you go about it the right way. A lot of women make mistakes when they try to win back their ex, so you need to know what not to do.

For instance:

1. Don't Send Abusive Emails Or Texts

Whatever you do, don’t send abusive or crazy emails or texts to your ex. If you haven’t heard from him, you may be feeling frustrated or even angry, but abusing him won’t help your cause. If you want to know how to get a man back, then definitely don’t do this!

2. Don't Make Angry Phone Calls

Don’t make angry phone calls either. And don’t leave any voicemails where you’re screaming like a fishwife. If the situation was reversed and your man was trying to get back together with you, would you respond if he left you angry phone messages?

3. Don't Stalk Him

You may want to know what he’s doing and if he’s already seeing someone else, but stalking him like a crazy lady isn’t going to work. He’ll realize what you’re up to pretty quickly. If you want to get him back, then keep your dignity and don’t harass him.

** So How Do You Get A Man To Regret Breaking Up With You? **

As mentioned above, keep your dignity. That’s first and foremost.

Secondly, give him some space. He may need some time to process the break-up.

While you’re waiting things out, you can use this opportunity to reconnect with your girlfriends if you’ve neglected them during the relationship. However, if you do want to reconnect with your friends and you end up getting back together with your ex, make sure you make time for your girlfriends as well. Otherwise, they may not be your friends any longer. Real friends don’t drop their girlfriends because they’ve got a guy in their life.

This may also be a good opportunity for you to work on yourself. If you were strong and independent before you got together with your guy, are you still the same person now? If not, why not? What’s changed? Are there hobbies that you enjoyed doing before you were in this relationship that you don’t do anymore? If so, why not take up those hobbies again? Did you have goals that you wanted to achieve but didn’t have time for because your relationship took up all your time? Why not look at those goals again and see if you’re ready to achieve them now?

If you look after yourself this way, you’re building up your self-esteem as well as keeping busy during the break-up. If your guy isn’t receiving angry or abusive phone calls, texts or emails, he may realize he wants you back too. If you’re not harassing or stalking him, he may be wondering what you’re doing (or if you‘re found someone new). Once he’s had some space and time to get past the immediate break-up, he may try to contact you.

This is how to get a man to regret breaking up with you. By acting classy and dignified, you won’t embarrass or humiliate yourself and you’re giving him the space he needs to think clearly. If you don’t speak about him behind his back or spy on his friends, you’ve got a much better chance of getting back together.

So if you want to get him back, remember the above tips and stay true to yourself. You may find it helpful to talk to a counselor about all the emotions you’re experiencing. This way, you won’t be as tempted to share your feelings with him through angry phone calls or emails which can seriously hamper your chances of reconciliation.

article submitted on behalf of co-author Bob Grant.