If you've broken up with your boyfriend or even your husband, you may be desperately trying to work out how to win him back. But in order to get your ex back, you need to go about things the right way.

First, you should do some soul-searching and ask yourself, do you really want him back or so you want get back together with him just a knee-jerk reaction because you've split up?

Once you know that you want your lover back for the right reasons, then it's time to win his love back and keep him for good.

** So What Can You Do? **

If you want to win back your lover, then this may sound odd, but don't be obsessed with getting him back.

You see, men don't like women who are obsessed with them. Of course, men enjoy the attention they receive from interested women, but they certainly don't enjoy the attentions of stalkers.

So if you want to get back together with him, don't obsess about it. That doesn't mean you can't think about it - a lot - as that's only natural. He may even be thinking about reconciling with you, too. But there are certain ways to go about repairing a relationship and being obsessed with your ex isn't one of them.

Instead, you can win back his heart by acting dignified and classy. You see, if you make angry phone calls or send enraged texts and emails to him, you can really ruin your chances of reconciliation.

If he receives such letters, emails, texts or phone calls from you, he may think he did the right thing in breaking up with you because this kind of behavior proves that he was right (and men love being right!).

If you need to let out your emotions (and it's not healthy to bottle them up) then do it in a safe place, such as your own home. You could write down how you feel in a diary and lock it away or even burn it afterwards.

Or if you need to let out your anger in a physical way, you could go for a run or even pummel a punching bag if you have access to one.

There are plenty of other ways to express your emotions besides angry phone calls and texts, so make sure you let out your emotions in a healthy way, in order to get your ex back.

** So How Do You Win His Love Back? **

If you want to win him back, then make sure you take pride in your appearance. Men are visual creatures and love looking at well presented women. So if you're "slobbing around" in the street in a torn t-shirt and jeans with your hair unwashed and no makeup on, what do you think his reaction would be if you accidentally bumped into him in the street?

You would probably both be horrified! So no matter how bad you're feeling, if you go out after your break up, make sure you're looking as well presented as possible. You may not bump into him, but you may bump into one of his friends who could report back to him that he saw you and you were looking great. And that may pique his interest enough to contact you.

Now, when you're ready to talk to him calmly, it's time to call him. When you do this you have to be really sure you want to get back together with him. You also have to be reasonably sure that if you don't get the answer you want from him you're not going to turn into a blubbering mess on the telephone.

Before you dial his number, write out what you want to say to him. That way, if you get tongue-tied or totally forget what you were going to say when you hear his voice, you'll have it all written down in front of you.

And when you're making contact for the first time after the break-up, make sure you keep it short and sweet. When he hears your voice, he may be expecting you to either cry or sound angry on the phone. So when he hears your calm, reasonable voice, he'll receive a pleasant surprise, which will help him be more receptive to your request.

** What should you say to get your ex back? **

First, thank him for all the good times you had in your relationship. Then, ask if you could meet up for a cup of coffee. If he asks why, you could say you'd like to return some of his stuff (if you have anything of his).

By doing this, you should definitely have his attention which is what you need in order to win him back.

Instead of screaming at him over the break up, you're thanking him for all the good times you shared together. So you're doing something he definitely didn't expect. If he's interested at all in getting back together with you, then he'll go and get a cup of coffee with you, and you can take it from there.