If you're suffering from a break up, you're probably feeling sad and alone. You also might be wondering how to get him back. How many times have you sobbed into your pillow, "I want him back!"?

Well, the good news is that it is possible to get him back. But first of all, you need to know what NOT to do. This will improve your chances of getting back together. So here are five things you mustn't do under any circumstances. Otherwise, you could blow any chance you had of winning back your ex.

1. Don't Stalk Him

You may be tempted to find out what he's up to, especially if he hasn't been in contact with you since the split. But if you're thinking of spying on his house or his place of work - stop!

You really don't want to do this. What happens if he catches you? You might think he would be flattered that you care so much about him, but he would probably feel angry instead.

After all, if you stalk him, you're invading his privacy. And what starts off as a little harmless spying could develop into an obsession that would be hard to stop.

2. Don't Stalk His Friends, Either

And don't stalk his friends either. They might think it's cute at first that you're turning up everywhere they are, but pretty soon they're going to think you have a real problem with the break up. They'll tell your ex what you've been doing, and you may even receive an angry phone call from him telling you to keep away from his friends!

Don't forget, they're his friends, not yours. They may be sympathetic about the break up at first, but if you keep hassling them because you're trying to keep tabs on your ex, any sympathy they had for you is going to disappear pretty quickly.

So don't make a fool of yourself by stalking his friends as it will only end in tears.

3. Don't Send Him An Angry Letter

Writing down all your feelings about the break up is a good idea - as long as you burn the letter afterwards. Sending him an angry letter is a big mistake and can seriously jeopardize any chance you had of getting back together.

So if you feel you're going to burst if you don't get your feelings out, then write them down. Then get a match and burn the letter safely. Don't let anyone else read it. Once you've expressed all your feelings, you're sure to feel better because your feelings aren't bottled up inside you any more.

You should feel lighter without that heavy weight dragging you down, and it may be easier for you to start thinking positively.

4. Don't Spread Rumors

If you want to know how to get him back, then spreading rumors about him isn't the way to go about it. You may feel totally justified in wanting to spread a nasty rumor about him, but there's a good chance that you will be revealed as the person who started it. And then your ex and all your friends and all his friends will know that it was you who tried to blacken his name.

If you keep telling yourself, I want him back, then you shouldn't even think about spreading a rumor about him. Instead, try to think about the good times you shared together and what you once meant to each other.

5. Don't Complain About Him To His Friends

If you're close to his friends or his family members, then it can be tempting to complain to them about the break up and how it was all his fault (even if it wasn't). You may think that you're helping your cause by doing this because they will urge him to make up with you, but this strategy often backfires.

Your ex is going to hear that you've complained to those close to him and he won't be happy about it. Instead of wanting to get back together with you, he may decide it would be best if you didn't see each other again.

And remember, even though you may be close to those friends, they will always be his friends and they may feel uncomfortable at the way you're criticizing him.

So if you're telling yourself, "I want him back" and you want to remain on good terms with his family and friends, try to be as positive as you can if you mention your ex. As you can see, if you follow the above advice on how to get him back, you will be avoiding some of the mistakes that women make when they're experiencing a break up.

By remaining gracious (no matter how hard that is) and friendly with your ex, you have a better chance of getting back together.