Have you broken up with your boyfriend or husband? If so, there's no doubt you're feeling miserable and keep thinking about how to get him back. This is a perfectly natural reaction to a split.

However, if you do want to get back together, you have to make sure that it's in your best interests to do so. If the relationship was doomed from the start, then there's not much point putting all your time and energy into attempting a reconciliation when you‘re only going to break up again after a couple of weeks or months. Sometimes, a clean break is kinder for everyone concerned.

But if you think your relationship has a good chance of surviving this break up, then there are things you can do to help the process along. One of them is to write a list of the pros and cons of getting back together.

By doing this, you'll be clarifying everything that's been in your mind since the split. By getting everything out on paper, you can see what the real issues were and you may even come up with solutions to fix them.

And you'll be making sure that you really do want to get back together with your ex because you're still in love with him.

** Write Down The Pros And Cons **

Get a large piece of paper and a pen. Draw a line down the middle of the paper and write Pros on one side and Cons on the other. Now write down all the positive aspects of getting back together with him in the Pros column. These may include back rubs, emotional support, having fun together and having someone to share your day with.

If you'd like to know how to get him back, then having a lot of positive things about your relationship will help, as you will have a lot of good memories to share with him.

When you've written down all the pros you can think of, it's time to write down all the negative things you disliked about your relationship in the Cons column. These may include his snoring, hogging the TV remote, giving you the silent treatment when he's angry, withholding affection from you and any other problems he may have.

When you've finished both lists, give yourself plenty of time to read them and process the information you've just written down.

If there are a lot more pros than cons, it's a good sign that you might be able to win back your ex. It means that there were a lot more positive aspects to the relationship than negative ones.

** What If There Are A Lot Of Cons? **

On the other hand, if you've written down a lot of negative things about your relationship and there aren't many items in the Pro column, then you need to seriously think about whether you should take him back.

Do you really want a relationship that is more negative than positive? Even if you do reconcile, there's a good chance that you will split up again in a few days, weeks or months.

Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to know when enough is enough. If your relationship hasn't been very good for a while and you split up, your immediate reaction may be to want to win back your ex. But after you've had a while to think it over, you may even feel a little relieved that your relationship has ended and you're now a free woman.

** What To Do If You Really Want Him Back **

But if you've seriously thought things over and you've decided you really do want him back, there are certain ways to go about winning back your ex.

First of all, it's not a good idea to cast any blame. The break up happened. You now have to focus on fixing your relationship so you can be together once more.

Don't go over the bad times in your mind; instead think about the good times you shared.

If you want to know how to get him back, it would be a good idea to remind him of all the great times you had together when you speak to him again.

Reminiscing about happy times with you should put him in a receptive mood, so that when you tell him you want to make up, he will be more open to the idea.

If you need to apologize to him, then do so if you really mean it. Fixing a relationship takes time and effort, but if you're both willing to make it work then it is possible to get back together.