If you find yourself tongue-tied around men then you probably are not having a lot of luck getting dates or getting past the first few dates. While talking is not the only thing that attracts and keeps men around, it is crucial to expressing your feelings and allowing him to get to know the real you.

Here a few things to think about that may help you break out of your shell and talk to men with ease.

First you have to realize that he's just a man! You are giving him way too much credit when you are scared to talk him. He's not a god, or some mythical creature that will eat you or destroy you when you talk to him. He's just a man! And that makes him a human. And that makes him a lot like you. So stop putting men on a pedestal above you and realize that they are just like you - no better or worse.

Second, understand that rejection is not about you. Fear of rejection is what holds many women back from talking to a man. Fear that they guy will look at you like your crazy, or will walk away from you completely, can stop you in your tracks when attempting to talk to a man. But rejection really has nothing to do with you.

If he rejects you then it has everything to do with him and his viewpoint on life. He may be having a bad day, week, or year with women, and you may have caught him on a day where he doesn't want to deal with women at all!

On the other hand he may just be an outright jerk! And if he rejects you, or makes you feel bad for talking to him, at least you know that he is not the right guy for you. How else are you going to find out? By standing around looking at him?

The truth is most men will not make you feel bad for talking to them - unless they are a jerk. And you will feel better once you take the step to talk to them and learn what kind of man they really are, and not just fantasize about what kind of man you think they are.

Lastly you have to remember that most men are just as shy as women. They may put up a front of being rough and tough but the truth is they are just as nervous as you are. So when they see a woman approach them with confidence they respect her as a confident woman.

This is a little secret that most people don't know! The person you are talking to is just as nervous, but if you look like you are calm and cool, then they will think that you have it altogether - unlike them. It doesn't matter if your heart is beating up a storm and you are scared to death! They only see the calm and cool woman in front of them.

Remembering that they will view you as a woman who takes matters into her own hands, and that they will respect that, may help you approach them.