Some chat up lines work, whilst others do not. Some flirtatious approaches work for some people but have disastrous effects upon others. If you watched the movie "Bad Teacher" you would have seen several examples of both.

A lot can be said for perseverance in that if you keep trying you stand a chance of wearing the other person's barriers down. But care should be taken with this approach as you could trigger the opposite effect.

Perseverance in chatting up a girl has a better chance of working if humor is involved. It's pretty difficult for a girl to get upset with you if you make her laugh. The gym teacher in this movie applies this technique and he does indeed eventually succeed in his mission.

The young lad, in contrast, who applied the more serious and deep approach, ends up failing miserably and publicly embarrassing the young lady in question as well as himself. You're not going to get very far in the dating game if the emotion you elicit from the girl whom you fancy is one of embarrassment. That's a complete no-no.

But how do you choose a successful chat up line when each person is very different in what they might find interesting, intelligent, cute or amusing? The key is getting into THEIR mind and thinking in the same way that THEY are likely to think. Quit thinking about how YOU are feeling or about what YOU want to say.

Instead, think about the reaction you wish to elicit and how you might best achieve that goal. What will SHE find interesting? What will SHE identify with? What might SHE find funny or amusing or cute or appropriate? Put yourself in her shoes, as best as you are able to do so. Think back from the end result you wish to achieve and then find a way in which to get there.

Perhaps you have no idea about her likes and dislikes. If so, you're not really looking at her or listening to her and picking up upon the messages that will be clearly conveyed through several different mediums. What does her style of dress tell you? What do her hobbies tell you about her? What do her friendships and habits say about her? What does the way in which she speaks or moves or behaves tell you?

Once you start looking, really looking, you will realize that you can work out quite a bit about someone even from across a room. All of that previously subconscious information provides you with clues as to what might be the best way in which to chat her up.

All you need is the confidence to be able to step into her shoes and trust in your instincts. And whenever doubtful of your best approach the use of humor is a good back up plan, although once again you do have to fist ask yourself the question "what will SHE think is funny?"

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis confidence mp3s to assist with relationship issues.

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