Confidence and Self-esteem are Talked about Lots – But What do They Mean & How do You Acquire Them?

Self-ImprovementAdvice

  • Author John Bell
  • Published May 30, 2008
  • Word count 1,361

Mankind has long recognised that not everything can be subjected to scientific examination and proof - particularly in relation to matters of the mind. In this article former stage hypnotist and now motivational, conference speaker John Bell gives his thoughts on the subject of self-esteem and confidence.

Self-esteem has much to do with a confidence in your own merit as an individual. It is about how you value and appreciate yourself, a value we attribute to our own self-image.

People that succeed in life are usually considered to have a high self-esteem and a positive mental attitude. They come over to others as being self-confident in their ability to succeed at what it is they are doing. Confidence is not so much about thinking you are in some way better than everyone else, but is a belief in your attributes and, where necessary, sufficient faith to put those attributes into action.

As a psychological quality, self-esteem is not something you can turn on and off like a light. It has however, something to do with a method of thinking that can be taught and, when practised, can become self-perpetuating, resulting in a noticeable improvement in confidence. Once acquired it becomes one of the most important attributes you can nurture in life.

If an individual can be encourage to develop a high self-esteem he or she will learn how to become more self reliant and confident in their ability, not only to cope, but to excel at whatever it is they wish to achieve. It is not an arrogance or vanity. It is an ability to be assertive where necessary without coming over as overly aggressive. High self-esteem and confidence are traits that are admired by most and desired by many.

They are an inner state of dignity that is externally displayed to others. People like to be around those who exude high self-esteem and confidence. Such people have an aura that indicates a high level of self-worth. It comes over to others as an admired confidence and general feeling of well-being. It is about feeling good about ones self and can have a direct effect on all things in life - including work and social relationships.

Others measure your level of confidence in a number of different ways. It effects how you physically appear. Negative non-verbal communication (NVC) suggests a low-level of confidence. Become more conscious of the NVC you may be displaying and you can start having more control over how others perceive you. Crouch forward as you walk and observers will think differently towards you were they to see you to walk with straight back and head held high. Too high and people may think you were quite literally ‘looking down your nose at them’.

The level of self-confidence an individual has can often be connected to impressions he holds about himself and are based on his successes and failures. Failure, if not checked, can breed further failure.

Self-esteem can also be affected by the way people perceive themselves physically. If a person views their appearance in a negative light, this is likely to reflect in their body language, and will make them appear far less confident. A high self-esteem is a vital ingredient in this thing we call ‘success’. The way you feel about yourself has an effect upon the way you feel about others, and the way they feel about you. These feelings become part of our beliefs.

Beliefs are often a matter of faith. This applies in more areas than just the spiritual. We need to believe in ourselves, in our own abilities and strengths. Without that belief we are weakened and are unlikely to realise our full potential. It's about being whom we ‘believe’ we are.

If you were able to harness your self-esteem do you agree that your levels of confidence would surely follow? Can you imagine the huge benefits such ability could have? This phenomenon has something to do with something known as the ‘Placebo Effect’.

Before each and every medication produced by pharmaceutical companies can be offered for sale it has to be thoroughly tested. One such test is to measure the effectiveness of the medication against a control, known as a placebo. A placebo, in this context, is a medicine, pill or potion that has absolutely no medicinal qualities whatever. In effect, it is a ‘sugar pill.’

It has long been recognised that if a patient truly believes that a pharmacologically inactive substance has an ability to cure, then, amazingly, it can, and often does. Research has shown that the power of the human mind has the ability to make people better. It also has the capability to dramatically improve self-esteem and confidence.

As a former stage hypnotist I can give dozens of examples of how the mind consistently proves that it can control the body. For now please accept that it can.

In my book ‘How to Negotiate Through the Power of the Placebo’ I wrote how when we take a placebo we are not told that it is such; our subconscious mind is convinced by our conscious mind that the medicine is going to help us recover from illness. We have faith in the medicine, for we don’t know that it is inert. Our recovery therefore comes from within, and it is the power of the subconscious that heals us. The purveyors of so called quack medicines relied on this to succeed in selling their products, which were often little more than coloured sugar water.

The subconscious part of the brain is like a sponge. It absorbs information uncritically. Normally, we have no control over what it soaks up and thus have no means of directly influencing it. The conscious part of our mind acts like a gatekeeper and tries to filter and make sense of what our subconscious is saying. When we have vivid dreams our conscious mind is off duty and we are flooded with the apparent chaos of the contents of the subconscious.

If we can find ways to convince the subconscious that certain things are true we will have found a route that opens up enormous possibilities. Some of these routes to the subconscious I describe in my book. For now, put quite simply, it is possible to directly influence the subconscious mind by using inert, harmless, placebo-like techniques.

Confidence and self-esteem are much about having a belief, a faith in our own ability. I work internationally as a motivational, conference speaker. Standing in front of large audiences of intelligent and often well-educated delegates and then entertaining them whilst educating, motivating and inspiring them is not natural. I was not born with such ability. Any confidence I exude is a trait I discovered, developed and now gladly share with others. Not only do I practise what I preach, I am also preaching what I practise.

When invited to provide ‘In-House’ training for clients my main role is usually to inspire and motivate staff to greater things. I achieve this through a tried and tested system of internal and external factors. I provide them with an improved level of self-confidence that empowers them with a realistic and positive view of themselves. I am recharging their batteries so that the lights of self-esteem can glow bright again. This is of course assuming a glow was there to begin with! If not, fear not, all is not lost.

Self-esteem and confidence can be acquired and then should be practised regularly. They are rooted in identity reinforcement and are the very foundation upon which members of staff begin to build and grow.

Establish a high level of self-esteem in employees and improved self-confidence will surely follow. Confident staff are more motivated staff and levels of motivation usually have a direct link to success and failure.

I hope you have found this article useful and perhaps now realise that self-esteem and confidence are too important as traits to be left to chance. If improvement in self-esteem and confidence are required, be they for yourself or others, they are likely to initially require some form of action on your part. There is no time like the present. Do it NOW!

Motivation and inspirational talk expert John Bell is recognised throughout the world as an authority on people behaviour. He has been speaking professionally for over 25 years. John works full-time as an author and a conference, seminar and convention presenter.

In addition to motivating delegates, he teaches people how to harness the power of positive thought to succeed in both their personal and professional lives.

Learn more at www.johnbellspeaker.com

and www.healthcare-speaker.com

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