Women and their Body Language

Social IssuesDating

  • Author Alison Sardelli
  • Published June 30, 2008
  • Word count 1,682

Perhaps one of the most interesting and yet confusing aspects of dating is the ever elusive interpretation of body language. While the differences from individual to individual must be taken into account, there are many common traits, that if read correctly, can be an excellent way for a potential suitor to decide how to proceed.

Positioning: When a women spots a potential romantic interest at a social gathering she will often begin a series of subtle maneuvers which will allow her to be positioned in the direct line of sight of that interest. Depending on the physical features she wishes to present she will choose just the right seat or stance and often takes note of the particular effect of the lighting in that area.

Much of what a woman is feeling can be determined by the way she chooses to display herself while waiting to attract the attention of her chosen interest. Low or open seating is often the favorite of those women who wish to display their legs; while at the same time women who are self conscious about that particular feature often choose a seat where their legs remain hidden.

Hair is often rearranged, unless already styled in an immovable fashion, once a women finds her interest and this subtle playing of the hair, along with even a moment of eye contact can be seen as an invitation to approach.

Many women are completely aware of what they consider to be their physical flaws or highlights and will chose to place themselves in a position that is flattering to both. An example of this might be the difference in sitting position between two women; one of which is proud of her abdominal area, the other who feels she is out of shape in that particular region of the body: one woman may chose to allow this area to be glimpsed, a subtle display of stretched out position that may even reveal a little skin, the latter, being more self conscious will choose to hide this area whenever possible with clothing or other objects that block it from view such a pillow or blanket.

One of the most important aspects of positioning is how the woman is engaged, either in conversation or some activity that will allow her to observe her interest without appearing to take too much notice of that person. Some women find a more direct approach appealing and will continue to make their glances obvious thus dropping any of the more subtle signs; however, as most people fear rejection it is far more common for women to continue on with actions that seemingly have nothing to do with attracting the attention.

While these and many more subtle signs of invitation can be read from a woman’s particular movements, equally as important are the signs of dismissal. Often when a women has no interest in her potential suitor she will display outwardly both in facial expression and in body language that she no longer wishes to engage in conversation or activities with that person. Probably the most common and well know is the action of folding arms; an almost sure sign that something is amiss with the person. Lack of eye contact or a purposeful look away if eye contact is made can be a sign of dismissal, though at times this action can be caused by embarrassment rather than lack of interest. The deliberate positioning that faces away, placing the suitor at the back can also be an indication of lack of interest; this action removes the suitor from view and indicates that the suitor’s actions are inconsequential to the lady.

The Walk: Most women however graceful (sometimes not at all,) have a different way of walking that can easily reflect their moods or their subconscious intentions. Generally, the swaying of hips and long, languid movements can be read as an indication of interest. Typically women tend to move in slower and more calculated ways when they have found a person nearby that they consider attractive, though one might be yet unsure as to which person is the subject of interest, when a women moves in this way a potential suitor should remain observant for more signs that their advances might be welcome. In direct contrast, brisk, hurried movements often indicate that a women has not noticed any person’s of interest and is therefore unconcerned with appearing more delicate or feminine; these harder, less relaxed ways of walking can be a sure sign that any advancement will be quickly dismissed, though the cause may have nothing to do with the individual and may be caused by some other distress that is taking place.

Distress: Under stressful situations women tend to slouch, hide their eyes (especially if brought to tears,) and generally move in hurried, clumsy movements. However, this is not necessarily, though it may seem so, a sign that an approach is unwelcome; in fact many women use the "damsel in distress" act to attract potential suitors. Even in today’s society, where equality amongst the sexes is a topic much discussed and thought about, many women still instinctually take on more cliché feminine traits when attempting to attract a suitor. These actions should not be taken as a sign of weakness so much as perhaps a sign of insecurity about how to approach a person of interest. If a problem is presented by physically displaying the signs of stress and the suitor is then attracted by coming to the aid of the lady and offering to help, the awkward approach can be avoided altogether as the two people begin to discuss the issue at hand. One should always keep in mind that assuming a lady’s intentions are to attract the attention of suitor maybe a gross miscalculation and further advancements after the offering of aid may be rebuked quite fiercely; however, to ignore that this distress tactic is sometimes used to lure a person in would be just as much a mistake: once help is offered one need simply observe the body language of the lady after the problem is resolved to know whether or not further companionship is being sought after.

Touch: Once engaged in a conversation many movements can take place that indicate attraction; a subtle pat on the back or a reassuring touch of the hand can be subtle ways that indicate a woman feels comfortable and may have romantic interest. However, before one attempts to approach or converse with a woman there can be subtly touches to objects in her surroundings that act as mock touches of the person in which she is interested. Some of the more overt and well known of these interactions have a great deal to do with the mouth and one can often assume, especially if eye contact is made during these actions, that a physical attraction is taking place and an approach is not only welcome, but practically being demanded. More subtle signs that a woman maybe attracted to someone might be how she handles other objects within her reach; lighter more delicate touches may simply be her natural way of moving, but often if these touches, or subtle caresses of objects are intermingled with eye contact they can be an indication that she is open for an approach and considering the idea of being touched.

The Smile: Though perhaps on the surface the meaning of this facial expression seems obvious it is by no means a generic "green light" to approach. A woman’s smile can be an invitation or simply a polite dismissal; one must always attempt to read the indications of the rest of the body language before making assumptions. The placements of the eyebrows in a high, arched position, combined with a smile is an example of a smile that is anything but an invitation for a potential suitor; this expression more often is a sign of dismissal, dislike or annoyance and if noticed one should proceed with great caution. The more fluid or glazed look of the eye (though one must not make assumptions when a lady has been drinking,) can be an indication that a lady’s smile is genuine and she is therefore approachable; the overall look of this smile appears to be softer and more classically feminine. One arched brow combined with a smile can be a tricky expression to read and in this situation one must look to other parts of the body when attempting to discern meaning. The single arched brow can be an attempt to indicate attraction, especially if the smile is subtle and the other brow remains neutral; if the other brow is lowered, even when accompanied by a smile, the feeling is often not a positive one, this expression often indicates annoyance and maybe followed by a dismissal. A smile that is accompanied by the lowering of the lids is more often and indication of true delight, whether brought about by humor or attraction, one can usually depend on this expression to indicate that an approach, though perhaps not yet sought after, will not be dismissed.

These displays of the body used to entice the interest of another individual are not often planned or even considered when moving about or positioning oneself in a room. The instinctual drive to use the body as a lure; to display those features which one believes are pleasing and may attract attention, are often actions that come naturally after thousands of years of instinct being combined with the many social behaviors learned from our society. Paying attention to this sort of body language can be an excellent means of insight into whether or not the lady is welcoming a suitor’s approach and can help a great deal in avoiding hurtful or embarrassing rejections. Though not an exact science the subtle displays and actions of a lady can sometimes reveal more in just a few minutes than hours of conversation, knowing the signs gives one a great advantage in both the world of dating and perhaps even in the future of a relationship.

Many years of advice has enabled Alison (Katt) to diagnose specific problems and offer solutions on the subjects of dating and relationships. Visit http://www.villagematchmaker.com to read about helpful tips and submit questions of your own.

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