Every adversity carries within it the seed of equal or greater benefit.

• Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Sometimes we get so frustrated when things aren't going as we think they should. We may not have the job we want, the healthy body or partner we want, or even the life we want.

Believe it or not, that's good news.

As soon as you recognize what you don't want, you are making the statement (even though it may be silent) that there is a better way -- there are options.

The difficulty arises when you feel you don't have a choice in the matter.

One of the biggest hurdles I've observed in my work is that so many individuals feel "trapped" in their unwanted situations. They feel powerless to make a change and fail to recognize that they can choose something different for themselves.

I don't know when it happens, but for many, a point is reached where they feel, "This is what I've been dealt. I have to live with it. I don't like it, but it's all I've got."

This thinking couldn't be further from the truth.

You have been given the gift of choice and every single decision you make every single day, creates the place you find yourself in right now.

I was speaking with a colleague yesterday and he was discussing how unhappy he was with his body. He's 40-something and is getting a little plump around the middle. He calls himself fat, arches his back, sticks his stomach out and rubs it like a dearly loved pet.

He said it sucked to be getting old.

I told him he could have the body he had ten years ago if he really wanted it and whether or not he created it was entirely up to him.

I asked him to picture his perfect body like a trophy on a silver platter. This could be his if he really desired it. It was being presented to him with outstretched arms. All he had to do was set the intention to have that body and take the steps to move him towards that silver platter.

I then asked him to picture a second platter beside the first and on it was a bottle of beer, a bowl of peanuts and the remote control.

I asked him which platter he had been focusing his attention on and moving towards. The answer was evident.

He had two clear choices, but every action he was taking was

focused on the unwanted outcome. He was focusing his attention in one area and expecting an outcome that was not congruent.

The contrast was there to show him what he did not want, but he took a powerless approach to making what he did want happen, and instead took actions that required little of him and gave him instant gratification.

When he realized that he had in fact, created this situation by his own thoughts and actions, it was like the cobwebs were pulled away from the light and he could see clearly again. He was the reason he was where he was and only he could change his circumstances.

If you are unhappy in your current situation, explore what it really is you want for yourself then review the thoughts and actions you take on a daily basis. There will be a clear mismatch.

Try the same exercise above with the unwanted outcome on one platter and your desired outcome on another. How are the actions required to reach your desired outcome different from what you are currently doing?

The most important thing to recognize is that you and only you have the power to make your desired outcome a reality. No one else can do it for you.

Knowing you have inside you the power to change, what can you do starting today that will shift your focus from what you don't want to what you do want?

Could it be:

• changing the people you hang out with?

• changing the TV programs you watch?

• changing your daily activities?

• changing what you spend most of your time thinking about?

• changing how you spend your free time?

"If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got," is an undeniable truth.

Reclaim your power, use the undesirable circumstances in your life as your compass and chart the course for the life you dream about. Then pull up that anchor and set sail.