The Romance Scam

You see the commercials for internet dating companies on a daily basis. Everyone it seems has found someone or has even married someone they met online. Once you exit the world of persuasive corporate marketing, what is this process really like? Is it all the happiness and romance hinted at through the commercials?

Internet dating has been successful for some people. What these commercials fail to advertise is that only a fraction of those online will find "someone." Another fraction of these will end up finding far more trouble than they anticipate. Many dating sites are used by scammers. These individuals seek to steal identities, exploit emotion, and make a buck from your emotional grief.

"Romance scams" may seem like something from a fiction novel due to the lack of attention they receive in the news. They are a very real business online and are growing in popularity. There are some popular methods of evaluating the individual you've came into contact with.

The first trait is intensity. The individual claims they've simply fallen in love with you in a short period of time, often 24-48 hours after contact. They may claim it's "destiny" or "fate" that brought you together. These individuals also disappear from the dating sites once contact has been established with you. Their profiles disappear and they start requesting communication through email or instant messenger as soon as possible. Most will let you know during this early stage that they are US citizens, but must go to the UK or Nigeria for business soon. They most often claim to be from your area.

They will have exceptionally poor grammar skills. Their English may be incoherent or phrased in strange ways. In other words, they are not native English speakers. It shows in their writing. They may often use text words such as "how r u?" or "I'm L8."

The habits of these scammers are odd. They are often not available during nights or weekends. They may keep unusual hours for your "area" because they are really overseas. They change their names, profile names, or screen names often.

The Romance Scam often involves the old "Nigerian scam" methodology that was once popular through email. It's simply a new twist on an old con.

There are several things that may happen. You may receive a box of merchandise they claim they can't ship where they need to. They may even send you a check that they can't cash for some reason. They will likely want you to cash this at your bank, withdraw a certain amount, and send it back.

The problem with all of this is that these are often felony acts. The check you receive will not be good. The packages you receive may be stolen merchandise. The gifts they send may be purchased with a stolen credit card. There are reports that people have been arrested at the bank when attempting to cash these checks.

If you don't encounter any issues and can withdraw the funds from the check to send to your "boy/girlfriend" you will be responsible for paying it all back. Since most of these individuals work from a foreign country, there is no way to arrest, convict, or charge them legally. Since everything they tell you will be fraudulent, you will not have any insight to their true identity.

If you find someone and the situation is promising, do a background check. Monitor the situation as closely as possible. You may be emotionally vulnerable, but scammers do not care. They will use everything you tell them against you.

If you find yourself in this situation and haven't taken any precautions, immediately go to your area police. If you live in a rural area, go to the State Police as they will likely have far more resources to help you. If you are receiving items through the mail, go directly to your local post office and ask for their help.