First of all, kissing is not a race. There is no rush, unless the two of you are so horny your pants are going to explode if you don't remove them. SLOW IT DOWN, cowboys and cowgirls. You must first be gentle with the horse if you want to ride. Start off easy and then work up to the climactic, fast-as-greased-lightning kissing.

Key moves to remember when under the mistletoe or in the glow of the menorah, and definitely under the fireworks on New Year's: linger on the lower lip, then linger on the upper lip, sucking gently; then slowly slip the tip of the tongue in, and then linger again. Don't spend all of your time outside, and don't spend all of the time inside. Eventually you'll get the tongue in there, boys, don't fret, just take it easy. (Hate to gross you out, but isn't kissing a lot like sex?) If you want to intensify the kissing, place your hands behind the person's ears and through their hair, or around their hips or love handle-they are there for a reason, so pull your lover in. Note: girls love it when you hold their face in your hands and behold their beauty.

Mix it up. Change it up. Don't repeat the same move over and over. You don't even have to stay on the lips. Kiss the cheeks, the nose, eyelids (Note: the end of the fabulously romantic movie Amelie). Kiss the neck, the ear, the collarbone, the cleavage if you can (never kiss man-cleavage though; that's just nasty, unless they want it…) Kiss the inside of the wrist, the inside of the elbow, the stomach…the…(let's get back to the upper half of the body-that other kind of kissing is a whole other article), the forehead! Be sweet and kind and if he/she is reciprocating and wants more, then you can deepen the devotion to the lips. If it's appropriate, hands can wander and cling to things, and grab even, depending on the situation.

If you want to get a little naughty, then nibbling can come into play. Bite gently on the upper or lower lip. The lower lip usually is fleshier and therefore easier to grab onto for that split second of seductive surprise. Follow up the bite with a lick.

By the way, keep the hickies out of sight. No one wants to display ugly purple territorial markings around the holidays, or at any time for that matter. It's just so middle school (or high school or whenever you went through that phase, if you did … am I the only one?) and it's just plain rude to give someone a visible hickey. Plus, hickies in hidden places are so much more fun.

Kissing is an art, and quite frankly, not all of us are artists. It takes practice, experience, emotion, patience, honesty, and sometimes it's just good genes. Yeah, I know it's gross, but chances are if you're naturally good, so is your momma or your daddy. Regardless, we should all try to be considerate of the person we are smooching by being a little bit romantic. Is that asking too much?