Catch phrases are a part of everyday society. They become hugely popular, ride a wave of cultural phenomenon, than seem to disappear as quickly as they came.

But there’s a term that was introduced years ago and still hasn’t dropped from the vocabulary, even in Christian dating circles. Whenever there’s a conversation about relationships, it always seems to pop out of somewhere.

That term is “soul mate”.

Read romance novels. Listen to popular love songs. Watch movies on Lifetime television, and chances are “soul mate” will be uttered in some way, shape or form.

In fact, entire stories have spawned from the idea of a soul mate. Ever see “Sleepless in Seattle”? You get the picture.

But I’m here to tell you something that may not be popular, but I sincerely believe it’s the truth:

There’s no such thing as a soul mate.

Now, before you gasp and go storming away from your computer, consider the premise of “Sleepless in Seattle”.

A perfectly happy woman, engaged to a man she loves, spends most of her time lamenting the fact that she may have missed out on someone better. Of course, we’re led to believe her true “soul mate” lives 3,000 miles away and doesn’t know her from Adam. Yet, destiny and fate must have their way, and incredible circumstances bring them to the climactic scene on top of the Empire State Building, where the two strangers lock eyes and know instantly that they are to be together forever. Fade to black, roll credits…

…and hand me a barf bag!

Don’t get me wrong—I can dig a chick movie now and then. But to buy into the soul mate theory goes completely against what God wants for us in a relationship.

For example, my wife and I believe 100% that God brought us together. I am completely and totally in love with my wife.

Does that mean I could never love another? Nope. I could fall in love with someone else if I wanted. I could crush everything we’ve built and separate myself from my family.

But I CHOOSE not to.

And that’s the key. Real love is not at-first-sight, violins-and-bluebirds baloney. It’s a choice. Plain and simple.

Destiny hasn’t preordained our lives, God has. But He’s also given us free will in the matter. Just like we make the choice between serving God or serving ourselves, we also choose whether or not to love someone.

But according to popular culture and the media, you don’t have a choice. You must search for your one-and-only soul mate. Get all swept up in the romance. Don’t be concerned with the real world.

And that’s what gets a lot of people in trouble. They start believing the hype instead of believing the Truth. Before you know it, they’re throwing away a perfectly healthy relationship for a fantasy. In fact, it’s my personal belief that a large factor in the demise of traditional family values is the proliferation of such anti-Christian ideas, such as a soul mate, through the media.

If I buy into the notion of a soul mate, then I believe destiny has preordained just one person for me. Only one. Anyone else would obviously make me unhappy and unfulfilled. After all, it’s been laid out for me already. I have no choice.

Wrong!

What if I lost my wife tragically? I would hope that the Lord would bring someone for me to marry again in time, but if Ronda was my “soul mate”, then what would that make my second wife—“soul mate part 2”?

See what am I getting at here?

God has a perfect mate for you and will help you find them. But He can’t make you love them. That’s up to you.

For example, we have friends who spent their lives on the mission field. The wife will flat-out tell you that she did not love her husband when she married him. But she knew God wanted them to be together, so she grew to love him over the years and never looked back.

Now THAT’s faith!

Do yourself a favor—turn off the tube. Throw away those trashy novels. Stop listening to those sappy love songs and dig into the Word! Jesus said “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” He had a plan for me and he has a plan for you. Talk with Him, listen to Him, and He’ll lead the way.

And when you do find that special someone, you’ll know that it’s not destiny that brought you together, but His good and perfect will.

So take that Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!