Jealousy is a cruel emotion; cruelest of all to those who experience it, but also cruel to those whom it is directed at. I was totally shocked yesterday when I accidentally came across an on-line forum which was supposed to be a networking opportunity for those who work in a particular niche industry.

I wasn't looking for this forum, merely searching to find contact details for a person I used to know, and as usual these days one of the first places I searched was on Google. Having clicked upon the link, I immediately accessed several threads of conversation which screamed "disgruntled ex-employees" to me. A reek of jealousy hung in the air around my lap top as I quickly scanned the messages.

It is always surprising how great a jealous person's confidence can be when their post is marked "anonymous"; I wonder would they be so quick to judge and to comment if they had to stand beside their comments. Whether jealousy is directed at your boyfriend, spouse, colleagues or company, it still has a negative and destructive intent. But the karmic laws ensure that the person who is ultimately affected most by this destructive energy is its originator.

Jealousy does not allow you to be happy; neither does it assist you in forward progression. This was clearly illustrated upon the forum which I came across; those who were complaining most stridently were also proudly posting about their being able to lie in bed and not work for much of the day, and how they had found ways in which to adapt their expense accounts to suit their own personal ends. That is not progress; it reflects instead back pedaling and shrinkage. Their own jealousy was building ever higher walls around their experience of the world.

Jealousy inhibits, jealousy restricts and jealousy destroys. Jealousy is an emotion which lashes out at those who have what you want; it blames them for your not having what they have got. And this latter aspect is what stops one from overcoming the jealous thoughts which command their focus. It is not until one recognizes that they are where they are because of their own actions and take responsibility for their position that they will be able to overcome their jealous decline.

This can be difficult to do; we have an instinct to appear congruent to ourselves and others. By this I mean that once we have chosen a position, we like to appear to act consistently with it. We feel instinctively obliged to "prove our point" to ourselves. Needless to say, the more intensely one has experienced their jealous thoughts and displayed their jealous intent, the greater their "need" to prove congruence (more to themselves than to others), and the harder it becomes to back down and retrace ones steps.

Until one does do this, what happens? As the jealous person points their finger at those around them, those other people avert their gaze, close their ears and get on with their lives. In business this is easier to do than in a close relationship. One who lives with a jealous spouse will most likely find reasons to work longer hours thereby staying out of jealousy’s way as much as possible, until eventually they no longer come home at all.

This of course paints the picture of jealousy when experienced at its worst. Many people are gripped by jealousy in a lesser way, but even so, it will always cause destruction. To overcome jealousy one has to desist from the instinctive desire to blame others, and instead look closely at one's own habitual thoughts and actions.

Hypnosis is a great help in this task as it is a state of mind which allows you to step back and observe yourself from a different angle, probing into the musings of your subconscious mind. This is essential if you wish to overcome instinctive and habitual thoughts and behavior - the subconscious mind is where they are stored and triggered from.

A lack of confidence will often be involved within the wheels of jealousy. Again, hypnosis provides an easy way in which one can build confidence from within.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for confidence and well-being.

P.S. Do you want to progress in life? Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website.