Stop Looking for "Your Type"

Social IssuesDating

  • Author Cheri Valentine
  • Published June 5, 2011
  • Word count 614

You think you know your type In fact, you are sure of it. You have actually dated them, perhaps even married them – more than once on both counts. So, let me ask you, if you know your type so well, why are you still looking for Mr. Right?

Get over your type and open your mind, your feelings, and your experiences to seeing who may be right for you. If knowing your type were working so well, you would not be looking. With that harsh realty acknowledged and accepted, are you ready to move on?

Of course, there is the other side of the coin. He’s NOT my type. As well as you think you know your type, you also think you know who is not your type. This is as a big a problem in my opinion as knowing who your type is.’

Let me share this with you. If I had continued to judge potential dates by types, I would not now be married to the most amazing man and someone who is so perfect for me. I had started to date all kinds of men and learned how interesting, funny, intelligent, caring men can be. I also learned what it felt like to be with men different than what I thought my type was.

I am so glad that I got out of my own way, finally, and just trusted in the process of knowing the qualities, characteristics, attributes, personality, and way of being together that was right for me. This took time, reflection and making sense of my past relationships. It was worth it.

I am so happy that I stopped looking for my type, and began to open myself to possibilities. Now I am happily married to someone who I could have easily dismissed as ‘not my type.’

Chemistry grows over time and is based on many factors. Yet, so many women dismiss potential men because they don’t "feel" it right away. If you are basing a lifetime of happiness on whether or not your heart jolts at first sight, you are selling yourself short and missing out on many opportunities.

Give a man and yourself a chance to interact, talk, and know him before you decide there is no chemistry. The other thing to keep in mind is that we often gravitate to what we know and feels comfortable to us on a subconscious level. Yet, if that were working so well, you would not be single and looking.

It takes courage to try something new and break out of your comfort zone. People, who do, often tell me how happy they are. There is a whole world waiting for you that you don’t even know exists and that includes amazing relationships with men. How will you know unless you give it a try?

Sounds easy. Yet if it were, we’d all be with our perfect partners. Divorce would be non-existent. Online dating sites and agencies would not exist and there would be far less singles. As Lord Chesterfield eloquently has said, "You must look into other people as well as at them." Look into their good, their gifts, and see them. Give yourself and the people that you meet this gift and watch the quality of your relationships improve.

Then watch the quality of the men you meet improve. Love is not easy, yet it is glorious when you find it. Open yourself to the possibility of love in people and places you might not expect. Mr. Right is waiting for you.

By the way, for you men this applies equally to you! Your perfect lady is waiting for you to recognize her.

Cheri Valentine is your love connection expert. She specializes in guiding busy professional leaders and business owners to find long lasting love to enjoy as much happiness and success in their personal lives as they do in their career. She believes everyone deserves to love and be loved unconditionally. Visit www.CheriValentine.com for your FREE 4 step kit to Attract Your Perfect Mate.

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