Three Child Raising Mistakes That All Parents Should Try To Avoid.


  • Author Gary Thomas
  • Published June 8, 2011
  • Word count 682

Mistakes are normal - we all make them, but recognizing your parenting mistakes, and taking steps to correct them, is a crucial part of bringing up children. Often you have no idea that some aspects of your parenting has a negative impact on your child, so take a look at this list of three parenting errors to see if you need to adjust your methods to avoid potential damage.

Mistake 1: Mainly Focusing On Negatives.

Children need positive reinforcement to learn and grow. Putting too much focus on the negative aspects of your child's behavior, performance, ability, looks, or actions, creates tension and an unhappy environment. Try to seek positives in everyday tasks and minor achievements because this will help to encourage mental growth and development of important life skills. Seeking positives when you have to reprimand bad behavior is more difficult, but it is possible if you stay calm and consider how to approach the issue without resorting to shouting and screaming. Be wary of calling your child naughty when you are upset. Instead, try emphasizing that his behavior was naughty, and tell him he is not a naughty child. Doing this links negatives to unwanted actions instead of labeling your child, and allows some room to focus on his usual positive behavior.

Mistake 2: Not Taking Your Child's Problems Seriously.

We've grown up, and most of us have forgotten the minor squabbles and incidents from our younger days. Although most childhood problems will disappear with little or no need for any intervention, it is still advisable to address your child's problems with the seriousness that they deserve. Children do not cope with life's trouble in the same logical way that most adults do, and this is demonstrated when what seems to you like a small problem has such a big negative impact on her. It is your responsibility to comfort, persuade, and convince her that she can get through whatever it is that is causing her such distress. She may have broken the same friendship a dozen times before, but this time it's as serious as ever and it's troubling her greatly. Take her problems seriously and guide her through them, and not only will you teach her to solve problems and think clearly, but she will keep coming to you for your caring nature and sound advice all the way into adulthood.

Mistake 3: Allowing Your Fears To Be Adopted By Your Child.

Whether you have an overwhelming fear of spiders, or your fears are based more on human dangers like crossing a road or climbing a tree, your children need to grow up in as much of a secure and safe environment as possible. Seeing, or sensing you panic when you encounter one of your fears will confuse and scare your child, and he will quickly learn to be scared of the same things. To add to this concern, a fear that you cannot hide from your child will sometimes expand itself, growing and twisting until it dominates aspects of what should be a normal childhood. Your fear of bees, openly displayed every time one is near, can easily become a fear of all flying insects for your child. Be as brave as you can be and try not to let him know you are terrified. Thunder and lightening may cause you to tremble and cower, but your daughter may associate your terror with the simple act of going outside. Use your child's natural curiosity to help you with your fears while you demonstrate that there is little to be afraid of, even if you are inwardly distressed. Passing your fears onto your children is avoidable if you can somehow stifle the panic and dread you would normally display.

With the Internet being used for communication on such a massive scale, people are sharing their experiences of parenting methods in a way they have never done before. This gives willing parents a chance to improve their child raising techniques, and sometimes all it takes is to read a single paragraph of good quality parenting advice to make a very positive difference.

Click here to ease your worry by finding real solutions to your parenting issues. Gary Thomas is a father of five who assists parents with the problems that often come with raising children. Get more tips for successful parenting at

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